What goes around...

He rushed out of the lift, towards his car.. he was running really late for his flight... and it was a flight he had to catch, if we was to go as as far in his career as he wanted to... and he was confident, both about the flight and the career.. for he was an aggressive driver who knew how to have his way in the crazy metro trafic...he zoomed out of the carpark, much to the chargin of two drivers who almost crashed into each other.. in fact one of them still couldn't get his car under control...he couldnt care less..he was a veteran of such occasions, in most of which he had a direct hand...

he reached home, still running late, packed, got dressed and while waiting for the taxi, called the airport... the flight was on scheduled time, she said, but a litle bit of flirting made her divulge that the flight might be delayed, because the pilot hadnt reported in yet.. he leaned back, relaxed, more confident than ever before now... but that was shattered as soon as he encountered a traffic jam.. he called the airport, encountered the female voice again, and made sure that the regular check in time was waivered for him...

but inspite of all his threats to the driver, he was only able to reach the airport 5 minutes later than the scheduled take off, but he was sure that the pilot would have gotten stuck in the traffic, and the flight wouldnt have gone... but he was told that the flight had left on time with a different pilot...apparently, the scheduled pilot had not yet reported in...

as he was trying to get a ticket for the next flight, the pilot walked in, looking irritated.since there was nothing to be done, he tried to make conversation with the pilot..."i missed the flight too.." he said, smiling.."well, i wouldnt have", grumbled the pilot, "except that my driver was late. apparently some idiot zoomed out of a car park and made him crash into a median....."
until next time, take care, for we cant close all the loops...

The Hero

A small inconspicuous building in a remote island somewhere in south east asia. that was where he was, with a secret burning deep inside... he had flown here in his private jet,to commemmorate the birth anniversary of the man to whom he owed his current status... without that man, he would have been living a small life, in a small island.. not just him, every kid on the island his age..

the man, who had literally crash landed into their life ages ago, the only survivor of a plane crash.. though he had been very young, he still remembered how they had brought him to the village..he lay in a semi comatose state for nearly 2 years, forever rambling incoherently, in a language the island people didnt know... sometimes he sat bolt upright, eyes shining with a fire that commanded respect and awe..... the fisherman community of the small island tended to him for all the two years...he remembered the day in august, late 1940s, when the man regained full consciousness.. the first thing he asked was where he was, and seemed to understand the location from the rough drawings that the fisherman drew... he also realised that his co-travellers were dead.. however, he managed to confuse all those who asked him who he was..in spite of his condition, and the fact that he was obligated to the village folk, there was an authority in his tone...

the next thing he wanted was an english newspaper...the fishermen somehow managed to get the newspaper from the town in the next village... he first got to know about the time period he was unconscious for, from the newspaper date.. it quite obviously shocked him, but there was another news in the newspaper that seemed to shock and delight him simultaneously....he asked the fishermen to get all the newspapers and magazines of the last two years they could get.. after he read them, he cried for a long time, and his tears seemed to have quenched something in him, for after that, the fire rarely glowed in his eyes...

he didnt answer questions about his origin, and to all those who asked who he was, he claimed that he had forgotten.. he stated that the village was going to be his home.. he started a school, brought books from the nearby towns, and taught all the village children - basic englishand maths and the concepts of freedom and liberty, and how to fight against all forms ofoppression.... the man soon became the village's hero and when he talked about freedom, the fire in the eyes were briefly back...

He was one of the many kids the man taught... he later went to college and reached a positionin life, few from his village could even dream of... and when he had come back to convey his gratiude, he came to know the man had died... a man who had gifted a future to many.. a man without a past....that was exactly what he wanted to find out.... and after decades of search, he did, and that was the secret... in a land far away, they had made a movie about his village's hero... it was called 'Bose - the forgotten hero'...

until next time, thank you mr.benegal, for reminding us what we have ungratefully forgotten..

Stairway to Heaven

He was happy, he was going to die... for a long time now, he had been bed ridden, unable to do anything without someone else's help... he didnt want to be in this state, relying on others for everything, but he didnt have a choice...the past few days, his condition had worsened.. the doctors said he didnt have much time left, but he hardly believed them, they had been saying that for ages now...

he had come to the conclusion that he was going to die, based on his instinct...but his happiness was not only because he would finally be free of this disgusting existence, but at the thought of reuniting with his friends and relatives, who had died before him... though no one could ever be sure of what lay beyond death, he had a pretty old fashioned notion of what it could be... heaven, where it would be, well, like heaven, with all the angels and Him, of course... and all his friends, and everything good.. he was sure it would be like all the descriptions of paradise ever told... he would sit and talk forever with his friends, crack jokes... he was looking forward to all of it..

and he died.... and just like all the stories, he walked into the light, and was met at the gates of heaven by a very friendly person, who after several questions and tons of jokes on the people who generally landed up there, and reference checks from a big fat book, concluded that he had indeed been a nice person, and deserved a place in heaven....and with a 'welcome to heaven', the gates of heaven were opened to him...

and soon as he crossed the gates, he felt a wave passing over his mind, and all his memories slipping away...as soon as the wave passed, he realised that he no longer knew who he was....

until next time, maybe even memories arent forever....

(idea courtesy: the wife)

Work is Worship??

"Garden City Unguarded!!" screamed the headline, and he couldn't help but agree. in the past few days, the crime rate in the city was reaching alarming proportions. from common thieves to rapists to murderers , the city had become a haven for miscreants of all sorts... and the public and the media were raising a hue and cry over it, and rightly so...as he looked at the starry sky outside, the high rise buildings and the teeming nightlife, he knew why the city was being targeted for all the crimes - the sheer money that was so obviously and garishly displayed, and the huge percentage of non locals who had made this city their home... and because of that, travelling in the city after dark had become a very risky business...
he looked at his co-passengers in the bus, his colleagues, all of them belonging to the city, because his organisation believed in employing only the locals, giving them a chance to make money and realise their dreams... the founders of the organisation were veterans in their respective functional areas and all the employees were complete professionals, well trained and devoted to their job..
he felt a surge of pride, his organisation did set high standards...and he could honestly say that they were doing path breaking stuff... like the cliche went, they were not doing different things, but were indeed doing them differently...
his organisation was literally giving the software companies and the call centers a run for their money...he remembered that he was initially skeptical about joining, especially the late working hours and night shifts, but after knowing about the vision, work culture etc, he was convinced.. and now the organisation was taking care of the employees' transportation too, a nice gesture to say they cared...
as he watched different people getting down, he realised he was himself only a few minutes away from his stop... he was slightly apprehensive today because of the news about the increasing crime rate.. he wondered if the cops were doing something about it... he hoped not, for that would make his and his colleagues' work slightly difficult....
until next time, it helps to be organised...

Alternate Lives

He sat outside the court building, scanning the newspaper, and keeping an eye out for potential clients.." India win series", the massive headline on the sports page read, but he dismissed it with a contemptuous smile... he was no longer interested... he still remembered the times when cricket was his life, but that was a long time ago... these days, he sat outside the courthouse and helped people draft appeals, for a nominal fee. that was how he made a living. on weekends he went fishing, that was something he was good at since the old cricket days...
he wondered how his friends were doing these days, the old gang... he was still in touch with at least 4 of them. one was a visa consultant these days, waiting outside embassies in mumbai and helping people get the visa power... and having showdowns with underworld gangs while at it...
another was a bouncer at a popular discotheque in bangalore.. he was much in demand, because it was said that nothing could get past him, he was like a wall, and even the kids who couldnt get past him agreed that he was always technically correct...
the third guy was a mess. he had a problem with sticking on to any job. he was forever looking for some 'doosra' thing to do, and getting into trouble with officials, and girlfriends...
but the guy who was most successful was the telephone booth operator turned movie star.. he had initially got a phone because he used to regularly get calls from his mom, and since the phone was anyway available, he decided to make some money with it.. and since he was forever asking people "sir ji, mera chance", he finally landed a movie role, and became a superstar, of course, with blessings from his mom...
his thoughts were interrupted rudely by a client who was screaming at him, coz the appeal he had drafted had been turned down by the court.. some things never changed..
but life was a different ball game from cricket..once upon a time, he, along with the visa consultant and the movie star were the three S's, without whom the Indian cricket team couldnt exist. Between them and the 'doosra' guy they had taken indian cricket to its peak, but it was good only as long as it lasted...
until next time, howzzat??

Dance of Life

'Cut', yelled the choreographer, she winced at what she knew was about to come.... an avalanche of abuse and admonition from the choreographer... once upon a time, she was the most dependable of the 'extra artists', the one who would not take a step wrong.... she knew she still was getting it right, but things were different after she had strongly resisted the choreographer's advances..
he hadpromised her a prominent role in the movie he was about to make... but like she told him, if she had wanted that route to stardom, she would have done it long ago, instead of slogging out as an extra...a long time ago, she had come to this city of dreams to make it big in bollywood, along with her friend...
but somewhere, she had missed the bus to stardom, so had her friend..and though she had become an extra, her friend had stated that she would go to a studio only as a star... and to make ends meet, she was now dancing at one of the big dance bars..
these days, she felt envious of her friend... her friend danced in front of a crowd, who were extremely appreciative of her performances,maybe bordering on being lewd, but unlike choreographers and producers, kept their hands to themselves.. and literally showered money on her..
she wondered who was better off -she or her friend.. while her friend danced in skimpy clothes in front of a crowd, that was at most a few dozens of people, she danced in skimpy clothes (albeit in the background)in screens that were viewed by millions of people..
she decided that she would talk to her friend today, about getting work for her also in the place she worked in.. she didnt think it would be a problem, the dance bars always needed more girls..and so, she gave it right back to the choreographer, abused him, and spilled out his antics to everyone in hearing distance... when she was sure that he had lost tremendous face in front of everyone, she slapped him, a parting gift, she told him...
back in the room, she waited for her friend to return, it would be morning, but she decided to wait up... as soon as her friend walked in, she told her friend that she needed a job...
"so do i", said her friend...
"what do you mean?", she asked, with a sick feeling..
"haven't you read the papers? they are planning to close all the dance bars. i was hoping you could speak to your choreographer.."
until next time, sometimes getting the steps right aint enough..

Questions..... and answers

Tomorrow would be the last day of his current life, he thought, as he finished his day of work and got ready to go home... his wife would be waiting for him, they had decided to celebrate the night, not by hosting a huge party, but in each other's company.. before he left, he made sure he had passed on all his responsibilities to his colleagues...
he drove slowly, as though savouring each moment, for he didnt know if he would be seeing these sights again... well, he could know if he chose to, but he liked it this way... he shifted his thoughts, for these thoughts were for later in the night...
she was waiting for him, wearing the dress he loved to see her in... she smiled at him, a smile with a feeling he couldn't place... strange, for though he couldn't place it, he knew exactly what she was feeling.. no, it was not sadness, death was an inevitability they were all taught to accept... dinner was everything that he loved, and finally it was time for the one thing he had been postponing... he took out their box, the one branded 'lifefiles'...
it was programmed to accept only his and his wife's unique codes, he adjusted the controls so he could see his life the next day.... as the images flicked across the screen, he got to know that he would be dying on the way to work.. he had always hated the turn in the tunnel just before his office.. his wife was watching too, and again he could sense the strange feeling in both of them...a lot of people saw these images early in their life, for the day of death was given to you on the day you were born, along with your unique code, so you could access 'lifefiles' anytime you wished...
but to know your past and future lives, special permission was required from the authorities...a long time ago, people had tried to play around with their death situation, like not being at the place of death, but they realised that it led to unnecessary complications, and they died anyway,so gradually people stopped the fiddling and accepted the facts... the same way they had accepted the presence of a superior power a longer time ago... accepted it, when the power had started direct communication to them, at a time when humanity was its worst, with its continuous obsession for others, within the species and without..
well, times were different now, for after getting convinced that humanity was behaving itself,the power had told them the secrets of life and death... he also told them that he had revealed it to their ancestors aeons ago, but the knowledge had got lost as time passed...he wondered about his ancestors, how would it have been to wonder about the cycles of life and death, not knowing when you would die... to wonder about your existence and its meaning... all of which was impossible these days, for you knew the answers and the questions already... he wondered what was better, not knowing the answers or knowing them and not being able to do anything about them.... both of them were strange feelings...
until next time, whats the question??

Just a second.....anniversary special

All this while, there's been reason and no rhyme
And to the rhymester within, thats been a crime
So he thought, what better way to celebrate a blog birthday
than rhyming about all the guys he's met on the way....
For all who think he's better off keeping mum
This is nothing, the verse is yet to come....


Aqua wants us to remember
that we have dreams in December ...


Here's where we get elixir, but sadly, only a drop,
coz as the line goes,'once you start, you can't stop'


then there's the apple of newton's eye
ebony or ivory, wonder which is her favourite dye


The bad man talking calls himself stone,
But his notes to self always have a good tone..


and though this one advertises herself as a 'solitary cynic'
she is an integral part of the AA clique...


Vanilla writes on chocoalate cake,
dilse bolo, a better combination, could anyone make?


Until a jolt of reality, a potpourri of thoughts she used to fill,
pallavi's the name, and the blog that rocks is called jilmil...


Unless you have gone totally blind
a million light bulbs should help read the mind...


For those who think eschewing obfuscation wouldn't do
Harneet has random ruminations too...


Arunima has titled her blog "Silent Eloquence"
and for once, she makes a a lot of sense


Just a workshop?, nope, its not so simple,
coz its owned by none other than the devil...


And when you're always sanguine,
Celeb(be)rating life has to be in!!


The view from the tower must be supreme,
but then, being rapunzel itself is such a wonderful dream....


This one calls himself no hair brain
and his ruminations are far from insane...


From the oaf to pleo, he has a split personality of sorts
blot of thoughts, thought of blots, he calls it 'bloughts'...


The Goan Sri Sri, white is one of his favourite hues
but he still calls his blog 'saltwater blues'.


Finding a vanilla field is easier than i thought
but i hope this stays, and no new beginnings are sought...


The spirituality and the name -blokesablogin
got me confused, thought it was yang, turned out to be yin...


Arvind Iyer is the 'lean dude with attitude'
hey, its trademarked, unauthorised use could get you sued...


A lot of ideas are forged by the ideasmith
and most of them are the kind you'll agree with..


Ashweeta has got herself some pages at typepad,
and here, even the PJs aren't that bad...


The crackpot calls her blog 'inkspillz'
and though she's not a goddess now,it certainly sizzlez!!


The chipmonster speaks, but she blogz as coolcat,
but whatever the name, this one's cool and thats that!!


Whats an erratic soul that can dance?
That folks, is what we call an errantrance


The fish called goonda thinks she's a fishy fiend,
but after sad-turn kidnapped her, she's taken a long time to mend....


Austere she is, and a seeker too,
wonder what she seeks, or should it be who??


The Grinch may call it 'grinchscrumpit' or 'my dump pit',
but the content is as good as any floyd hit...


Nupur writes about what even she doesnt know,
but mate, she does have a template whiter than snow..


Chaotic daze and enthu knights,
gump does have some great insights


Garfy has got herself a diary
and her antics are anything but dreary...


Amidst all the middle east's troubles
ashi sips coffee and continues her virtual scribbles..


Kraz calls his place wrecktangle
and to every tale, he adds a unique angle...


Pompy's blog is "off the cuff"
but you wouldnt realise, judging from the stuff


Imagine a blog by satchit haridas,
actually dont, he already has....


Crabbie likes to call it goofiness personified
but pretty soon it could become a classic food guide :)


one of the best templates you can find - thats "pradeeps's mindspace"
he posts every bluemoon, and in spite of my taunts, he wont mend his ways!!


Once she used to be a bug, she is now an angel with wings
and from budhhism to winterwear, she can write on a zillion things!!


He's the blogger who whacks the talk,
but when he gets verse, i go "what the f***"!!


There's someone who goes by the name of J
she has a warped mind, and thats all she'll say..:)


Anubhas world has a lot of scribblings
and an attitude, among other things...


And from the days of rediff, i've been getting some pearls of wisdom,
She's not on the list, but she's as good as they come..


The journey that began on a boring tuesday,
has continued for 2 years, to this day...
for better or verse, this one is for all the bloggers i know
and the ones i dont, but who are still part of the show...

The making of......

A was addicted to the object of his attention and A was tired of everyone but him getting to say 'be my lover' to it in the latest commercial.. it would have been okay if he had nothing else to worry about... but he was in bollywood, where you were only as good as your last hit. and he had taken more than a dozen films to deliver his first one. it didnt help that he was compared to his dad,whose status was kind of legendary..and even after the first hit, there was no respite, coz he had still not followed it up with another...
it would have been okay if he had been given at least a chance.. but alas, he had to sit and watch not just one, but at least three bollywood stars in the commercial.. one was the current shah of bollywood, whose very name meant success.. the second was another actor, who was also the safe choice of lots of filmmakers, who had recently changed his image and with that, his fortune. also, he had recently left his wife of many years, and was therefore ready to mingle... last, but not the least was a star, who many considered was the only superstar that bollywood ever had.. he was still a force to reckon with, many directors still wrote scripts tailormade for him, as far as A was concerned, his role in the commercial was exactly like his last film - Black!!
For he was A's dad, and since A's dad knew about the extent of his addiction, he should have suggested A's name instead of him, but he had not. A was dismayed, for the products you endorsed spoke about you... and these days, he was not even endorsing one...
just when he thought that all was lost with everyone screaming 'be my lover, bubbly', A had a brilliant idea to prove a point to bollywood and everyone concerned.... he went back to the people who gave him his first hit.
and thus, though his character had a funny name and due to the numerologist's insistence, his lover's name in the movie was spelt differently from 'bubbly', he hoped he could prove a point with 'bunty aur babli'....
until next time abhi, shake well before use to get really bubbly....

The walk of life......

His parents had an arranged marriage, so they had little option but to marry each other..
He was born in 1964, because that was when his parents decided to have him.....
He did not spend his initial life in a big city, because his dad didnt like big cities...
He didnt get educated in any big reputed school, his small town didnt have any...
He wanted to study a particular subject in the famous university in the big city, but he didnt get it because they had a massive quota for locals... so went to a lesser university...
He wanted to go abroad for his masters degree, but realised they laid a big emphasis on his educational pedigree.
He started teaching at the famous university he had wanted to study in, and felt a small victory.
It turned sweeter when he met the woman he wanted to marry, she also taught there...
And more sweeter when she gave birth to their son....
a few months later, the child fell sick, because of food poisoning in his baby food!!
he took leave, but she decided to go because she had already used up a whole lot of hers...since she was in a hurry, he decided to get breakfast from the hotel across the road...... and got killed while crossing the road..........
if he had a different set of parents, who decided to have him earlier, and live in a big city,and send him to an international school there, he might have studied the subject of his choice in the big university, gone abroad, not taught at the big university, nor met his wife, nor had the son who had the bout of food poisoning, and so he wouldnt have to cross the road....
and they say you make your own destiny...
until next time, just enjoy the walk, while it lasts....

The wave of relief...

He was shocked when he got the call from the CM's office. actually it was a combination of two shocks, one that the cm of a state could blatantly ask for a bribe, and two, they had found out the truth about his activities...
it was all because of his girlfriend's stupid idea... when they had got into the relationship, she was already an acknowledged star, and he was the star on the horizon.. the entire industry had heaped praise on his acting skills, and were sure that he would be the next big thing in bollywood... but alas, all his films had bombed miserably, and he had gotten coverage for all the wrong reasons...
in a fit of rage, his girlfriend had told him that the only reason she wasnt leaving him was that she didnt want the tag of a 'fair weather' girlfriend... she had a history of ditching her last boyfriend when he needed her most... but that didnt stop her from chiding him, whenever she got the chance... including saying that his theme song should be an mltr song that went ' i'm not an actor, i'm not a star'.... and after she had come back from the international movie festival and tongues started wagging about the hollywood role, she had become intolerable...
that was around the time when the tsunami struck... that was when she came up with what at that time seemed a brilliant idea... she told him that the waves had done their job, and since he wasnt exactly making waves in his trade, he should get some good pr coverage by doing some relief work.. and in her typical bitchy fashion, she had said that his going off would be a relief to her too..
and so he had gone to the inflicted areas, and since he wasnt exactly cut out to do relief work, he had bribed the journalists to do stories about him.. he still remembered how difficult it was to get the natural looking photographs and testimonials.... and now, that state's cm had come to know about it, and was threatening to let the secret out..he decided he couldnt afford to bribe her, he would rather bribe the journalists again, to prevent bad pr...
it was all because of his girlfriend... from now on, he decided he would stand up for himself and be v.oberoi, and stop being what his friends teased him to
be - v. obey rai!!
until next time, sometimes stars get struck too

The Workshop

Thats what he liked to call his mind... for though he had a huge workshop around him, he felt that his mind was where the real workshop was.. at least he had felt so until recently, but things were changing now..
he remembered a time long ago, when he was asked to start from a single room office.. the guys who gave him the responsibility had only a bare vision of what his roles and responsibilities should be.. he had developed the entire operation from scratch...and being very process driven, he had slowly but surely ensured that his workshop was extremely systemic...
and thus over a period of time, people had started to use his services more and more.. in fact a vast majority felt that his serices were an integral part of existence, and that was the way it was meant to be...and thus, as his workshop and its target population became more and more systemic, he began to devote more and more time to think up ways to increase the efficiency of his workshop,and to devise more and more ways to entice his target, and the more thinking he did, the more he felt that his mind was the real workshop...
but these days things were changing..some people had begun to improvise on his services so much that they had done things even before he thought about them... there was nothing he could thinko f that they hadnt done already... he began to feel that there was no work to be done in his mind, his real workshop...
but meanwhile the workshop around him flourished, with more and more souls joining everyday...he felt that the constant heat was taking its toll on him, and maybe it was time to retire...
once upon a time the humans had a saying about him -"an idle mind is the devil's workshop".. but the way humanity was systematically destroying everything that was good, and generally doing his job for him, he felt that it was high time that they changed the saying to "the devil's mind is an idle workshop"....
until next time, whats on your mind??

Child at heart

That he was a special child, his parents knew from the start... and it was not just the usual feeling that all parents had for their children.. he was genuinely different because of his sheer talent for song and dance... and all who saw him perform knew he would have a great future..
but he was raised like a normal child, not that his parents had much of a choice, because they barely made ends meet.. he had a horde of brothers, sisters and cousins, and they had many a gala family gathering..but in spite of all this his parents felt there was something really different about him..
they didnt know whether it was his obsession to look different from his ilk... or his penchant forloneliness... not that he was a compulsive loner, for all though he had never had any girlfriends, he had a battalion of boyfriends who he shared a close bond with... he regularly brought them home, watched videos all night, played songs and generally did a whole lot of things his parents thought were just normal 'boy stuff'...
soon, he lived up to his relatives' predictions and his song and dance made him an internationally acclaimed pop star... but that didnt stop his parents from worrying.. he became obsessed with his looks and his numerous antics regarding his looks made him the laughing stock among his peersand the general public.. and somewhere in between he had a broken marriage as well..but that was their least of their worries..
he was still bringing boys home, and the things he did with them were not exactly 'boy stuff', even by his parents standards..he apparently didnt want to grow up, but that wasnt the only thing he had in common with Peter Pan... he had a ranch he called Neverland.. he brought kids there, played games with them, and when the stories got out, he landed in court...
and gave a whole new meaning to the phrase'boys will be boys'....
until next time, games that you play in childhood....

The final act

He was happy for a lot of reasons, but two things primarily - one was that he had achieved whatever he had set out to do in life.. and the other was that the governing body had given the go ahead for his final act.. he had been sure he would get the approval while he had given the application, but then, governing bodies were a strange lot..
the approval was a two stage process, the first step was a basic application indicating the profile of the person giving it.. the governing body would decide whether the person could still perform an active role in society, and if he/she could, try to convince the person to do it, but that was just a formality... the second step was when one had to give the time and procedure chosen..the authority would then notify the next of kin, and put up a notice seeking whether anyone had an objection ..the objection, if any, and the right of the person objecting would both be scrutinised by the authorities before giving the final approval.. again, this step was also a formality since the applicant would have already announced his decision to the people concerned (who could object)..
a few days back, he had just gotten the final approval from the governing body for what was known as 'euthanasia'.legal killing was what the critics called it.. but after decades of legal wrangling, the majority had voted for it... in fact, they even made a procedure for people who were not in a position to request it themselves... the majority considered it a part of the society maturing, but there were people who still believed that He should be allowed to do His work...
but today was the day he had chosen for his final act... he had decided for it, when his wife had had a natural death a few years back and he had become alone, since their kids lived elsewhere and rarely had time for him.. stereotypical, he thought...
he had just had dinner at his favourite restaurant, and was on his way to the hospital where he would get his final injection.. he was still thinking deeply about whether he had left anything incomplete, since there would be no coming back...and that was why he saw the truck too late... his last thoughts were, "so long as i die.."
until next time, lets propose, and let Him dispose...

Bollywood Dictionary for Dummies

actor: may land up in the couch for different reasons.
actress: the driving force on the couch .
blockbuster: a wonderful actress usually guarantees it .
behind the scenes: careful, thats where the news agency guys are..
climax: go on, pretend you dont know what that is .
call sheet:given to the actress/filmmaker to know when they are supposed to arrive and where .
camera: the filmmaker should always make sure there isnt one...
anti climax: when theres a news agency involved in what would have been a climax..
cartoon: thats what the filmmaker becomes if he gets caught .
casting: what they do after the couch .
casting couch: the couch used for casting .
chemistry: what the actress is supposed to exhibit on the couch .
costume: usually minimal .
credits: should be given for a good performance .
critic: they dont approve of the casting couch .
cross over: change in position on the couch .
cues: a good actress should always understand them .
debut: the actress' first couch experience .
dialogue: the actress' should be enticing, the filmmaker doesnt have any..
director's cut: when the filmmaker is a director.
documentary: boring activity on the couch .
double take: please see take .
extras: only if the filmmaker insists. with good performances, they might be a threat to the actress.
filmmaker: the guy to please on the couch, most often producer, but could also be director. actor, and yes, even villain .
flashback: a feeling of deja vu for the filmmaker .
flop:a non performer, but the actress to be blamed, never the filmmaker .
frame: thats what the filmmaker claims when he gets caught .
industry: a collection of filmmakers .
in-the-can: the trip to the loo after the couch activity .
lip sync: ideally the actress shouldnt, but refer take .
make up: kiss before doing it .
method acting: when the actress has done it before .
miscast: the filmmaker's excuse for a flop .
overacting: usually happens when the actress is faking .
plot: what the actress/news agency does to get the filmmaker on the couch .
preview: foreplay before the couch. usually only for big fimmakers .
release: refer climax .
remake: a repeat performance, usually happens due to lack of subject/actress .
screenplay: the activity on the couch .
script: a nitty gritty version of the plot .
slow motion: some filmmakers love doing it that way .
story: every actress has one .
take: you have to,if the filmmaker insists .
word of mouth publicity: what a blockbuster gets .
zoom: only deals with page 3 now, but would be interested in couch activities too..

until next time, Koffee on the Kouch??