Morning Sickness

I envy the people who get up fresh every morning... Irrespective of how early i sleep or how late i wake up, the sleep i get is never enough.. of course, to the untrained minds, this would perhaps be an expression of laziness, but its not, because once i force myself to get up, theres absolutely no inertia involved...

is it because of the amount of work i pack in the day, that invokes this feeling. maybe the body and the mind are reacting to its necessity for rest... i really dont know any other name to call it by hence the title of the post...

I would love to sleep for an entire day and see the effects. maybe i will get over it, and then again, maybe i wont.. come to think of it, theres something about the 'lazy' yawn thats so appealing... 'lazy' sunday afternoons shouldnt be restricted to sundays alone..

In fact, why does lazy have a negative connotation at all... i envy the people who get up fresh every morning... how blissful can ignorance be...

until next time, yes, that was a lazy rant...

Welcome to wherever you are....

A few days back, i read a post which brought out a couple of things that are always whirling about in my mind and so find a way some of my posts too.. one a smaller picture of the way we treat other humans, and the other a slightly larger one, of who decides what role i got in life - human,indian, keralite,middle class,all body parts functional,career in marketing etc..

A bit of thought also made me realise that there could be many ways of looking at it. One could be remaining blissfully unaware and not even contemplating about the existence ofHis plan. Another could be recognising it but not too bothered by it. A third, which i see around me and sometimes within me, is the recognition with a step further.

He made me to be here, now, the way i am. somehow, somewhere i have earned the right and i belong this way. His plan also has taken care of the pain and suffering i see around me and these are not the things i should be concerned with, its a part of the bigger canvas. The last, is where i hope to be at some point of time - a recognition of the plan but with the compassion to help out where i can...

until next time, does He have a Plan B?

The Search

It was towards the weekend that i realised that a lot of it was lost. i cant remember the single moment of realisation, but i have a feeling it was subconsciously being lost all the while, yet the extent was not so large as to trigger the alarm...

And so i started searching for it... i used it both at office and home, actually everywhere, but since i couldnt search everywhere, the search was broadly categorised into home and office..i figured it was the office because i was careful about its usage at home, what with the wife keeping a close watch and all.. i asked my colleagues, who while promising help, didnt have too much of an idea on what could be done...i even spoke to my boss and said that this was aserious matter, that he should take it up at some forum, and that i would have some of my attention on it so i dont lose it further...

i checked all the drawers and the cupboards, the loo and even the comp, since it was also in the usage domain - excel, word, the internet.. all the while i was getting clues, but nothing concrete..and then, slowly but surely the realisation dawned on me that it was being lost everywhere- all the places mentioned above and more.. and i also realised that it was being lost even as i searched for it - Time....
until next time, you think Google can help?
The trigger was a comment on one of the egroups i am a part of..

Bombay Dying??

No, it isnt a doomsday prophecy... its just a manifestation of the 'what fun without pun' phenomenon :)...

its about the brand many of us have heard of, and worn too, as part of our school life... a few days back i saw an ad of theirs, which said there was a discount of upto 60% off on bath towels (yes, occasionally i do that too), but conveniently not mentioning where their outlets were...but as luck would have it, we managed to find one (purely by chance).. i think my last visit to a Bombay Dyeing showroom would have been around 6 years back, for trouser material!! and that was in good old God's own Country, where the premium on education might also have inadvertently lent some of its sheen to the outlet from where school uniforms were bought... and therefore, it had a touch of class to it...

but this visit told a different story... most of us can judge the way a shop is doing just by looking at it... a faulty signage, casual staff, the decor, the way stuff is arranged, all of them can tell the story... and from this shop, i could sense a gradual decline from the good old days.. yes, the towels werent bad, they still have good bedsheets according to D, and the Vivaldi shirts were also quite okay, but these are perhaps the last wall of defense...

and so, while some brands have smoothly made a transition - surf, rin, lux, colgate, parle.......for some brands- dalda, gold spot, binaca, solidaire, anikspray.... this generation's memories might be the last wall of defense...
until next time, sometimes clothes make a man's memories too

The Brain

Some favor the left side and some favor the right...

I, for one,hate taking sides..

on a side note, can intellectual property be called virtual estate??

until next time, posticide :)

A Generation Awakens

Well, Mr. Mehra, if the editing was slightly slicker, they wouldnt have fallen asleep in the first place.. hmm, yes, that might have been a bit unkind, but those overboard reviews did irritate me.. and so, no review, but an argument on the thought process behind the movie..( yes, i am making an effort to be intellectual..hehe)

while i do not dispute the fact that an attempt has been made to create an awareness in the minds of today's youth, perhaps the similarities of the azad-bismil-bhagat singh scenario and the occurences in the current times are too strong a stretch of imagination...the nation's freedom was something that each individual would feel strongly about, but today, so many generations have been moulded to the 'adjust' mentality towards corruption, nepotism, and the casual way to administering a country that it is too difficult to pull them back colletively..how many of us would not pay a bribe in this day, this era IS about convenience and what money can do for you... and therefore it is an issue that has to be addressed at an individual level..will this movie make you do that.. it didnt make me..to paraphrase what madhavan said in the movie, if you want to make a difference join the police,the army, the IAS, politics and live your ideals..

in my mind the movie that made a better impact was farhan akhtar's lakshya.. it was a casual selfish individual's journey towards becoming a heroic soldier, and somewhere along the way, his realisation that there was more to the world than just him - society, nation and his responsibilities to them...that movie didnt work at the box office, so perhaps mr.mehra is right after all in trying to arouse the fervour in his own way...
until next time, nothing can awaken those pretending to be asleep....

On a different Note

Rs.1000 - a single reddish note.

She gave the single note to the salesgirl and smiled in satisfaction. The money was equal to a day's pay for her, but it was worth it. She had gotten herself a bottle of tan lotion, something she could use on her vacation to the beach. she was looking forward to the sun, the sand, and the time away from her relatives.

She took out the 10 notes and counted them again, just to be sure, and smiled in satisfaction. It was the money she had earned in a fortnight, by selling groundnuts on the beach. Enough money for a short trip home. She was looking forward to a few days away from the sun and the sand and a little time spent with her relatives.

until next time, the price we pay...

And who'll be the judge of that??

'Oh, thats not bad for his experience and ability' immediately took me to SwB's post sometime back on how we judge each other based on what we do, and where we have reached in our career.. its a regular occurence in many discussions - the interest and attention generated is very much in proportion to one's designation, place of work, salary, job profile et al...but whats also regular is that we are judgemental, period..

where i come from, families also get judged by the jewellery the woman of the house wears for functions.. at other times, they get judged by the talents of the kids they produce, ridiculous as it may sound... in other places,the wedding functions thrown are indicators of the family's stature and financial position..

And its just not reality alone, on the virtual paths we travel, there are those of us who judge blogs on the comments generated, and those of us who like to think that we are above such trivial things, and judge based on the quality of the post, or who all link to the blog...

perhaps its because we are so used to finding happiness outside ourselves, that we are forever searching for others to compare with, and get the satisfaction that ' i am better than him/her'..its funny because even when i write this, i have to force myself to be non judgemental...and its also funny, we forget about the judgements when we compare favourably, and think about it only when we dont match up.. a defense mechanism automatically pops up, and we argue on why it isnt exactly as rosy as it looks... and so it shouldnt surprise anyone that the conversation ends with 'but i bet he slogs till midnight...

until next time, and they say judgement day is coming...

Legacy Issues

Yes, i can understand the techie eyebrows shooting up, but its nothing to do with system related legacies..its more to do with the original usage of the word, long before they had thought of computers...Like i have said in a post not too long ago, in addition to the fact that we love reading, there is also possibly a subconscious reason for buying books.. it is perhaps a way of transmitting ourselves to those who come after us.. because the books we have read also tell a little something about the kind of persons we are, and also share the ideas that in a way shaped our thinking... i also write the date of purchase of the book so i can sit back a long time later and smile at the books i used to read...:)

I have started collecting Ashok Banker's Ramayana series, also because of the fact that it might be slightly more appreciated than the ramanand sagar vcds..:).. though i bought it quite a while back, i started reading it only recently.. the author has a disclaimer that there are lots of versions of the ramayana, and he has tried is best to be as true to the original version by valmiki as possible...but he has written it very clearly keeping the current generation in mind... there is definitely a difference in the style of storytelling..

this is almost like a desi 'Lord of the Rings' interms of characterisation and narration.. for example, i am not too comfortable with a 'Harishchandra Avenue' in Ayodhya or Shatrughan being called 'Shot'!! but its still a good book..and so while i may be leaving behind a legacy, i should keep in mind that books are also the perspective of the author and can be way different from what i would want it to be...
until next time, dont believe everything you read :)

Broken record

Come to think of it, i think there might have been a reason behind the 'dumb post'... after a period of regular writing, the posts start getting a bit monotonous... like getting stuck in a certain groove.. to the extent that i know broadly what all i could possibly write here, and expect to write exactly that when i sit down to write the post...remember the time when i used to write only stories.. just about the time that phase ended,i had contemplated quitting the blog for sometime, because a twist in each tale is quite a task to accomplish, especially if you are doing only that... but it isnt that easy to let go, and so,after a bit of thought, i decided i wouldnt restrict myself with any constraints...

but after a lil look at the last few posts, i have realised that maybe it is not something i do consciously, getting into the groove, that is, but the problem is that sooner or later, i will sound like a broken record, and that definitely isnt good news...but guess what the twist in this is..

if i do decide not to write according to a pattern, then i have to consciously write posts that do not fall into a pattern, and knowing me, THAT would then become the pattern... yes, i also realise that i have written a post almost as dumb as the last one, and that wasn't exactly conscious..uh oh, do you think i am already in the groove?

until next time, this one is just for the record :)

Dumb Post

If the state of being bored is boredom,
and the state of being free is freedom,
and the state of being a star is stardom,
and (coincidentally) the state of a king is kingdom,
what would the state of being conned be??

until next time, not to worry, this post is just random :)

Point Being...

Have finished both of Chetan Bhagat's books - the hugely popular 'Five point someone', and the heavily trashed 'One night at the Call center', and that doesnt mean i can write book reviews..:) because like i have repeatedy said, i am really bad at them, but that doesnt stop me from commenting on books anyway...

I happened to read ONATCC first, and i felt it was a fairly good book.. i doubt if it is meant to provoke a deep analysis of self and the cosmos.. but it does give a peek into the working of the industry that employs a large percentage of today's youth, and the lives of these guys..its a racy book and more importantly excellent value for money.. to all the literary critics, i would say that we sit and laugh at the 'No Entry's and the 'Meet the Parents' fully understanding that theres hardly any cinematic value to it.. in the nation's lingo its called timepass, and theres no harm if an author caters to that need at all.. and so, in essence, the book wont change your life, unless you took a day off from work to read it or something...

Five point someone also has a good pace, and while there are occasions which are too 'filmi' (like x thing happening to the exact x person at exact x time, which is too convenient for random coincidence), it is still a good read...i think the difference between the two books is that while FPS is a first person experience (for mr.bhagat), ONATCC is perhaps in a setting about which he only has another person's view of...and while the prologue in ONATCC says that the book is written primarily to accomodate the larger sections of youth untouched by the IIT (which is the setting in FPS), i feel that FPS also applies to most of the residential colleges because all have grading systems, weird profs, love lives, canteens, and stereotype characters.. i think that made the book successful, because most of everyone could identify it with the (arguably) golden era of their lives - college days..So, point being, i am really bad at reviews, but you should read the books :)
until next time, we pass time, and time passes us :)

Time.....

Finished reading a book a while back, titled 'Emperors of the Peacock Throne'.. it is a chronicle of the mughal empire, starting from Babur to a little beyond Aurangazeb's reign.. While the book did give a lot of interesting tidbits that were contrary to popular knowledge (like the fact that anarkali was actually part of akbar's harem, and was at least 13 years older to salim) a more interesting thought crept into my mind, as i read the last few pages of the book...

the entire mughal era, spanning over 300 years has been condensed into 500 odd pages of well written history (well written because it is more like a story than history).. but while i read about the conquests of babur, the administrative policies of akbar, and the feuds ofaurangazeb, these are, in my eyes, only characters in history.. what i later realise, on more thought, is that these are also humans, who had their own thoughts... and while these characters are at least represented in the books, there are millionsand millions of characters who were part of the background - ministers, soldiers, common people.each of them had a life, some boring, some interesting, some routine, some filled with adventure,but each with a story to tell... but perhaps never told by anyone..

the point i am trying to make - while we run around doing things that are seemingly vital at that point of time and place and our lives, perhaps we do not realise that in the absolute vastness of time and space, it is maybe of no significance.. or maybe it is, in some way we cant fathom -through children and grandchildren and so on... we would like to think so...not that we should stop what we do, but somewhere, sometimes also remember that we are but tiny cogs in His vast machinery, and realise our humble role...
until next time, how ever is forever??

Memories

...of the relatively ignorant bliss of childhood... of the roller coaster ride of adolescence, the exhilrating times of youth... so far.. and perhaps as we grow older, the realisation of middle age, and the inevitability of old age... by the time we reach the twilight of ourlives, perhaps these memories become one of the pillars of our lives...

something that we never work towards, and assume that our minds would automatically record and catalog it - by person, by time, by taste, smell and hordes of other things that cant be described..

I saw a malayalam movie recently, a movie i was looking forward to seeing, featuring my fave actor and directed by a one movie old director, who had set an extremely high benchmark with his debut movie.. and thankfully, it delivered, and how!! it reinstored my faith in actor whose performance screamed out that all he needed were good scripts and he would do the rest.

that was a necessary digression, because even the trigger for a post has to be acknowledged, specially one as deserving as this movie...the story of a man who, while having never accomplished his dream, retains his faith in his intellectual abilities, and hopes that he can live his dream through his son. a man who has to balance his duty towards his father with that towards his son.. and while he focuses all his energies on all these happenings in his life, gets struck with alzheimers.... i cant remember a malayalam movie in years which can come remotely close to this one .. and no, thats not because of any ailment, its because there hasnt been a movie like this in years...:)

its a movie that made me think.. day after day after day, we go around focusing ourselves on the short term and long term things we aspire to do.. some get a joy out of a night with friends, some get it with the knowledge that their investments are safe and sound, some get a joy out of having achieved something..but all of us get a joy out of remembering the good times we have had in our lives... what if we cant remember those.. in His infinite wisdom, perhaps he has answered this too, for if we dont know that we cant remember, theres no pain... we will live small lives, with joys and sorrows we would never remember later...
until next time, remember to drop in again :)

Beginnings and Endings

Saw a lot of new year resolutions on blogs, and that sparked a little post in my head, and it was given a little more sense of direction by a couple of posts - by Aqua and Hyde...

It is customary to fix a few resolutions on New year, or so they say.. from going to the gym to stop being rude to others to control on number of parallel love lives, it could be anything, depending on subjective fancies..some of us keep it, and some of us just keep it...

On a larger canvas, by the time we reach the age when we can decide about ourselves, and have quite about decided on ourselves, there are some goals we set for ourselves - personally,professionally and a lot of things that are general, and having to do with the fact that we will be living a certain number of years on the planet... things that we must do (we feel),things that we aspire to do, and things we would love to do... (i wonder if the higher power interferes while we set these)

as we progress in life, and as our lives progress on us, a lot of these get changed, because of time, the people we interact with, and ironically also because of the sheer inertia that prevents us from changing our habits... (i would love to be at x kgs all my life, but i cant wake up at x am daily to exercise)..and suddenly one day, when we sit staring at the stars, we realise how much we have changed,and how different we are from the original age when we had set these goals... the arbit comments we make on ourselves like 'i had never thought i would do this' are only words and we are perhaps not aware of the statement's depth...

maybe the initial ideals were right, and maybe the current 'us' is right... there is no way to anlayse the paths that might have been... do we owe something to the first time we set our goals, and do we owe something to a higher power which might have set a goal for us...meanwhile, life happens, and perhaps we only happen to be in it....
until next time, whats happening??