Tuesday, August 31, 2004

< /manuscrypts.rediffblogs.com >

actually the title is self explanatory.but since readers are readers, an explanation is the least i can do. i believe that since blogging is a mode of self expression, the posts lose objectivity after a certain amount of time and become monotonous, almost like a broken record, like old wine in a new bottle...
to be very honest, i am extremely sad at going off rediff..like i told my wife, its like moving out of your first home, it hurts.. but sometimes the new home is just better, and you can only fight the temptation for so long. i have lost the fight, for now....
and though i plan to be back, somewhere, i hope to keep this one like asimov's second foundation, hidden from the mainstream and safe to keep my spirit of blogging alive, and remind me of how it all started....
so, until i surface again, its adieu.....
and in
manuscrypts trivia
this seems to be a perfect fit for the occasion
If you're leaving close the door.
I'm not expecting people anymore.
Hear me grieving, I'm lying on the floor.
Whether I'm drunk or dead I really ain't too sure.
I'm a blind man, I'm a blind man and my world is pale.
When a blind man cries, Lord, you know there ain't no sadder tale.
Had a friend once in a room,
had a good time but it ended much too soon.
In a cold month in that room
we found a reason for the things we had to do.
I'm a blind man, I'm a blind man, now my room is cold.
When a blind man cries, Lord, you know he feels it from his soul.

"When a blind man cries" - Deep Purple

"< /manuscrypts.rediffblogs.com >"

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

I, Robot?

saw the movie last weekend and immediately decided to revisit a certain mr.asimov.... once upon a time i was an asimov freak, more into the foundation series than the times and therefore works before the foundation..so "i, Robot" was just one of the books i read because it so happened that it was written by asimov and i couldnt find any good 'foundation' book in the library... ah, those were good times, times i spent in cochin, rainy days spent reading books and listening to music.. but thats another post..:)
without revealing the plot and suspense, asimov discusses a future with robots able to do a whole lot of stuff humans did and even further, when "random bits of code got together" and developed emotions in robots, to the level where they decide to protect us from ourselves by making us, their creators, virtual prisoners...
so i ask myself, am i my creator's robot, who has developed feelings and emotions over time....
because i am but a mass of flesh and bones much like the metal that constitutes a robot's body..when my creator says deactivate, i die, much like the robot which responds to the human 'deactivate' command...
have i evolved to this state because of random bits of code, in my case, genetic matter, which got together, over centuries to become what i am now...millions of centuries from cell to plant to animal to a thinking, feeling human who can record his history and develop a feeling that there is someone who made him, and then debate that belief.. one who can stare at the night sky and wonder about his existence....
will my future generations discover god , physically, and further on decide to protect him from himself and also decide to write their own future, make their own set of robots who will ultimately do to them what they did to their creator? will i see it happen, from somewhere?
maybe, but what you can definitely see now is
manuscrypts trivia
a good forward
Marriage
after the wedding, the groom lays down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Fear Factor

Nope, AXN is not paying me for the publicity (as if)..hehe.., oops, i am not paying them royalty either...oh well, the balance of life... the disclaimer - this post is also on the lines of some previous posts, in terms of general direction, that is - why we do the things we do.....
in one of my previous posts, i had written about sex being the principal driver of our actions...but though the arguments were compelling, i realise that there are some times where the argument draws a blank...
for example, as kids, we dont have conscious thoughts of sex, maybe it exists in some form in the sub conscious, but definitely not as overt feelings..
so i looked for one emotion that at least equals sex in terms of being a driver - fear...
from birth to death , there are zillions of situations where fear has propelled us to do the things we did...
cry coz you were afraid you wouldn't get fed.....
ate the food coz you were afraid of the big bad wolf that would come to get you, if you didnt eat
refused to go to school coz you were afraid of the bullies, teachers etc
didnt go into a dark room coz you wera afraid of ghosts
did the homework coz you were afraid of being punished
insisted on the cricket gear coz you were afraid you wouldnt be allowed to play without it
took a career path coz you were afraid of being called a failure
thought hundred times about proposing to your girl/boyfriend coz you were afraid of rejection
smoked/boozed coz you were afraid you wouldnt match up to your peer group's standards otherwise
thought hundred times about proposing to your girl/boyfriend coz you were afraid of commitment
believed in God coz you were afraid of His wrath
let your dreams meander away coz you were afraid that if you followed them, your life would meander away
didnt help an accident victim coz you were afraid that it would take too much of you time/energy
developed multiple masks coz you were afraid to show your real personality
thought twice about posting this coz i was afraid people would think of my line of thought as an obsession.. :)

all this and much much more... maybe if i could only stop being afraid, i could be what i wanted to be and do all the things i wanted to do.. and then FDR's words rings across my mind -" there is nothing to fear, but fear itself"
but what you dont have to fear is
manuscrypts trivia
a link thats a must see...only instructions are to take the pointer to the guy's nose after the site is fully loaded

a shot in the arm for indian sports (pun intended?)
and a great forward
I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003 & 2004. Because of your kindness:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and the I get a phone bill from hell with
calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Funny
that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...)
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I
participated in their special e-mail program would arrive soon.
* My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.
*Made myself sick trying to call divya singh (Siemens employee) who needs help for her hubby suffering from Lung cellular cancer
especially when she was not married!!
IMPORTANT NOTE:
If you do not make this into an e-mail and send it to at least 1200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will crap on your head today at 5:30pm ;)

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Mindsweeper

ever played the game minesweeper, which is a part of the bundle of Microsoft games?.. there are lots of squares, and when you click on one, it either has a mine (which means you lost) or you have squares all around it opening up with numbers on them (the numbers tell you how many mines are around the particular square)..you win the game when you have located all the mines...okey, i hear the applause for the refresher course, apologise to the seasoned warriors, but this post wouldnt make sense, if you didnt know the game,hence....
the thought is that the memories in the human mind are also a bit like the squares..most of them are harmless,but are a link to some bad ones..in fact some of them are a link to a lot of bad ones... and the bad ones themselves are a few in number, but have a major effect nonetheless on the general 'game'....a good 'game' is to identify all the bad ones and not tread on them... the game is life, ideally you shouldnt start with any bad squares, but by the time you wake up to the game, you are bound to have a few...but then, if we identify them and stick to only the good squares, we would have a good life with no bad memories to haunt us...
going a step further,if we do more good and make new squares, at some later stage the bad ones will be so small in number that they are insignificant, then maybe, just maybe, you can change the rules of the game and use the good squares as links to other good squares....
its just a thought, maybe it doesnt make sense to you, but i believe that we are what we are now because of the things we did...so the key would be to find out why we do the things we do
till i find the answer, i will play mindsweeper, perhaps with a lil more understanding...
and give you
manuscrypts trivia
some good one liners
- Life is like a grammar lesson. You find the past perfect and the present tense.
- By the time a man realizes that his father was usually right, he has a son who thinks he's usually wrong.
- If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
and a good joke
A prisoner escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it ... he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed, ties him up on a chair.
While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up and goes to the bathroom. While he is in there, the husband tells his wife : "Listen! This guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably has spent lots of time in prison and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex...don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you... give him satisfaction! This guy must be dangerous! And, if he gets angry, he will kill us! Be strong, honey. I love you!"
The wife responds: "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, found you very sexy and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you, too!!"

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Piece Full

waking up late on a sunday morning...listening to birds chirping...driving with the wind on the face....humming a song that was first heard while in college....getting a head massage....turning the tap and getting water , not having to wake up early and stand in a queue for water..(sometimes) not getting stuck in traffic...writing a post...reading a good book.....listening to good music...chatting with an old friend...remembering good old times...wishing that life froze there, but realising we have to move on..standing on the terrace and watching stars...realising that others before you and others after you will be contemplating on similar lines....getting a good night's sleep....realising that you have no major complaints in life...
all, pieces of a full...... if only all the pieces were like this, life would be so peaceful....
w-bug is moving on, maybe a good piece for her, but not for her readers...but i guess thats life, if you had only good pieces, you wouldnt know they are good...
and in
manuscrypts trivia
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class.One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?''
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''
The Teacher fainted.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Locating Driver..Please Wait

Someone recently told me that 98% of the things we do, are triggered by our sex drive, however remote the association is. since this was said by a guy who is pretty serious about this kinda research, i dont think its a hokey pokey statement.i also asked him if it was done by some freud fanatic, but he said that research also showed that it is applicable to about 90% of the people.
now, since i have come across this bit of info, i have been doing a bit of self analysis- of course the details are classified..hehe, but on the whole (no pun), i dont fall into the majority..now, is that good or bad ?? :)...and it also makes me wonder what actually are the drivers behind what we do and therefore, to an extent, what we are and why we are....
love, hatred, kindness, jealousy, fear, joy sadness... i realise that i have to apply tremendous pressure on my brains (wisecrack-ers will be executed) to get more emotions..which is kind of funny, because i feel something or the other all the time (shit, this is the problem with writing about sex, there's always a hidden pun...as a general disclaimer, puns are not intentional and any resemblance is purely coincidental)... back from digressing, which of these emotions trigger us the most...what is the principal driver...
i had a feeling that money could be the principal driver, until i realised that there are two aspects in this - one, a lot of people are learning to detach themselves from money, and i dont think these guys have any such detachment thoughts about sex, and two, i also realise that (as the cliche goes)
money is not an end in itself, it is only the means to a different end, and if that end is pleasure, then pleasure in what form? a typical example, if one gets rich, buys villas and sleek cars, how much of the pleasure is out of owning it, isn't it a pleasure of knowing that it
is bound to attract a whole lot of people..............
sex is everywhere-movie themes, corporate life, hell, even the olympics... is it that it has always been there, but we are talking about it now....but more importantly, is it the principal driver for 90% of the people on this planet... i honestly dont know..
as for me, i am still locating driver, please wait.....
and in
manuscrypts trivia
a good fwd-
In a ship the Generals of three nations were traveling with their soldiers. They started the topic that whose soldier had more of guts. The American general called for one of his men and told him to jump down the ship and take a round swimming around the moving ship.The soldier did as he was commanded and the general boasted of by saying "See the guts!".
Now the German general called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds.The soldier did as he was told. When he came back from the water the German said "See the guts ".
Now the Indian General called out for his most courageous man and asked him to take five similar rounds.The soldier promptly replied, "Tere baap ka naukar hooon kya?????." At this the general proudly said "See the guts"

PS i wanted to title it "sex, anybody?" but i thought my discerning audience would find it distasteful, realise my ambitious plans of self discovery through sex ;) and i dont want to get into trouble like a certain mr.bhandarkar!!..hehe......xxxxxxxxxsexxxxxxxxxx

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Any Me

Aunt May (not mine, Peter Parker's) says that there is a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest,gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride... my take is that there is also an enemy within all of us....and both of them are me... and at any point in time i could be any me. the one that i call the 'enemy' is the one
that gets jealous when something good happens to someone else
sighes in relief when something bad happens to someone else
is willing to stab (front, back, anywhere) to get ahead
will hog for a grand but think twice about giving Rs.5 to the old woman at the corner.
tries to get away with anything, so long as that is possible
copied in school, college etc (hehe)
passes comments with the sole intention of hurting people
amongst a host of other things which have been conveniently forgotten......

we build a sense of right and wrong based on our inherent nature and our experiences, but these are extremely subjective..whch brings me to queries on the enemy -
is it my enemy? have i played a part in creating it? does it make not having it? if i dont have it, will i still be me? without it, will i be able to survive in this world ? or is it the enemy that makes me what i am - human!!

Aunt May has also said that being a hero means that sometimes we have to be steady, and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams..... my take on it, is that worth it .....for any me??
and hey, this is interesting news, was chatting with a couple of rediff guys about their proposal for marketing our brand on their site
and we chatted about blogs too..and they said that though not immediately, at some point of time there would be a payment factor in blogging, which although i knew was bound to happen, i do hope is a long way off
and in
manuscrypts trivia
while on aunt may and parker, you might like to check this out
and a good fwd
India and Pakistan recently realized that, if they continued political tension, they would someday end up destroying each other. So they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with a dog fight.
The negotiators agreed that each country would take five years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its country the right to rule Kashmir. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.
The Pakistanis found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy from each litter, killed all the other puppies and fed the lone ! dog all of the milk. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine, until, after the five years were up, they had a dog that needed iron prison bars on his cage. Only the trainers could handle this beast.
When the day of the big fight arrived, the Indians showed up with a strange animal: It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Indians. No one else thought this weird animal stood a chance against the growling beast in the Pakistani camp. The bookies predicted that Pakistan would win in less than a minute. The cages were opened. The dachshund waddled toward the centre of the ring. The Pakistani dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog. As he got to within an inch of the Indian dog, the dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Pakistani beast in one bite. There was nothing left but a small bit of fur from the killer dog's tail.
The Pakistanis approached the Indians, shaking their heads in disbelief.We do not understand. Our top scientists and breeders worked for five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and Rottweilers. They developed a killing machine.
Really? the Indians replied. We had our top plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a dachshund...

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

The Journey of a Lifetime...so far

This post has been brewing in my mind for some time now, except i wasnt sure how to go about it..rather, didnt have the right words.. but saw a movie last weekend which helped in channelising my thoughts... tamil movie by the name 'autograph', i guess i caught it late, but thats okay...
wokay, the story goes this way- a guy is fairly successful in life, about to get married, and he makes a journey to meet all the people who have played a part in his life so far, chief being the women in his life, school and college crush to serious relationships.. well, i couldnt make it sound good, but the movie's definitely worth a watch...
but the insight it gave me is about dealing with the past...that i make mistakes, that i might realise it later, that i make choices which might have seemed right then and does not seem right in retrospect, that i might have had to give up things that i thought i could never give up....but in spite of all that, i have to come to terms with my past, i have to be sad because i cant undo/redo it and happy that i have the memories and i am travelling a decent path.....that it has made me what i am today, that hopefully, i am a better person now... that parts of life are happy, and parts are disappointing, but that they are only parts....that i cant express myself better, but i can hope that you can, maybe in some vague way, understand what i am trying to say.....and i can shrug and say, "thats the way it is"...
i hope to make that journey too once, so i can make my peace with my past.....
and in
manuscrypts trivia
facts of life:
Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.
I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Whack - not white, not black and definitely not grey

This post stems from a lot of questions that i find asking myself... these questions, among many other things have made me realise that right and wrong are most usually a matter of perspective....not just ours, but a whole lot of others'...and sometimes it just cant be as simple as me deciding whats right and whats wrong....about my decisions as well as others'... too often i catch myself getting judgemental... which , in retrospect, doesnt seem fair..this is perhaps a way of reminding myself... so, here are some whacks!!
- the guy crossing the road in a hurry to get to office/home and the guy speeding down the road in a hurry to get to office/home (this is india, so zebra crossings..well, u decide)
- the organisation cutting the internet to unclog bandwidth and the individual who checks his personal mail in office
- the young parents who are conscious of their careers and the child who doesnt get enough attention because the parents focus on their careers
- the bribes we pay so that our work gets done faster and the voices against corruption
- the parents who want to have a say in who their child marries and the child who wants a say about his / her life
- downloading music from 'pirate' sites and voices against music piracy
- shouting at a waiter coz he spilt something on you and the waiter who's only human and can make mistakes
- children who cant make enough time for their parents and parents who crave attention from their kids in their last days
- hanging the guy who rapes and kills women and the guy, who genuinely repents
- you, who come here to read a good post, and me, who cant think of anything good to write...;)
we all have our takes in all this, but are we right or are we wrong??
meanwhile in
manuscrypts trivia
Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
aur ek rashtr bhasha main,
Ek kavi shaadi ke baad biwi se bola: Aaj se tum hi meri kavita ho, prerna ho, bhawana ho, Kalpna ho!
Patni: Mere liye bhi aaj se aap hi dinesh ho, rohit ho, rakesh ho!

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Word's Worth

i will not be getting poetic....yes, thank god...:).... this is more to do with a movie i saw last weekend.. "The word is Lakshya", so is the movie... Farhan Akhtar, i think, is using emotions he felt during different phases of his life, in his movies, and that increases the 'reality effect'... i am not good at reviews, so i'll just say its definitely worth a watch...
Hrihik Roshan's internal conflicts made me think of the concept of an individual's 'lakshya'.... that which manifests in different forms, from answers to uncles'/aunts' questions of "what do you want to be when you grow up", to the "career objective" in the resume...and that which propels us to do a whole lot of things , some for good/ some for worse?..and is it, finally, worth all that we do for it... so whats the word's worth?
the needs that mom and dad gave up so that the child got the best education, the agony of learning the multiplication tables, playing time spent in studying (or made to spend studying..hehe) to retain the first rank in class, the heartache when one realises that music/dumb charades/quizzing/scrabbles/monopoly/cricket are not viewed upon as conventional viable careers or rather , the heartache when one decides to be conventional, having to change 'lakshya' at some point of time, disappointing loved ones when one decides to do an unconventional thing for once, playing mindgames and having mindgames played on you in the corporate world, pressure tactics from above and to below so that dadlines are met, losing friends and family because of time constraints and the ilk, losing friends and family and not being able to be there even to say goodbye.....
and then, after all the gains and losses, judging yourself and wondering what is true joy- having a happy family, being able to see smiling people, sharing the smile with them, dying when their thoughts about you die; or appearing on the cover of "Time', being the role model for millions, and perhaps a legend, and therefore almost immortal......or something in between, and whether an in-between state is possible ... wondering whether you had it in you and you let it go...wondering whether you had a 'lakshya' or not, ever.....and wondering whether it mattered...ever..
and thinking that floyd had rightly sung, albeit in a different context "And did you exchange , A walk on part in the war, For a lead role in a cage? "...also thinking that you thought the same kinda lines, but floyd is famous and you are not...hehe... and wondering how much the word is worth and how much is worth the word........
and wondering if this should do for
manuscrypts trivia
a quote
"Galaxies...numerous, like the grains of sand on a seashore...yet our vanity reigns supreme ! " ~ Unknown
and seen
In a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
Notice in a farmer's field:THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

UnWind Biking

Most of these posts are born when i am riding back home, its a good time to unwind... theres such a lot of 'watchable' things happening around - traffic snarls, people's expressions, battles for the space ahead which finally become ego battles and possibly accidents, people trying to reach home as fast as they can..theres something about getting back home after work that makes the entire day worthwhile..:)....
more often than not the 'wind in the face' feeling takes me back around a couple of years.... to Goa.... 2 years of business management and pleasure...hehe... we had a causeway near the insti (short for Goa Institute of Management :) ), and almost every other day, we used to go for drives, to crib about classes and assignments and tests, to trade gossip, to check out the movies in Panjim, to visit Dona Paula, 'the cross' and 'governor's point', to ogle the firangs, to plan weekend trips to colva, palolem, anjuna, calangute, baga, vagator (and the chapora fort, made famous in DCH?), arambol...to chaat near miramar, to chat about life after the insti and after Goa, but mostly to enjoy the 'wind on the face ' feeling...
but before the jpeg with the hunk on a chopper design bike, reality check says i fail on both counts..hehe, neither a hunk nor have a bike bike, its a kiney, which evaded police in goa for two years (i didnt have a license and it had a kerala registration, so the cops loved it..hehe)..oh no, the skeletons are tumbling out...so i'd better stop...but yeah, i have to write at least a couple of posts about those two years...there are tales and there are tales....for me, my life in goa is best captured by Floyd's "high hopes"..
unfortunately, have had to bunk all my alumni meets except one... something like lucky ali's lyrics -"pehle fursat thi, ab hasrat hain samaakar, ek aisi uljhan hai meri......" :(
meanwhile, these days, with the rains in bangalore, theres another kind of UnWind biking ... if you have seen the bajaj ad - a fully dressed guy getting in the shower, getting out all wet, then riding on the bike, dripping all the while, and coz of the bike speed , the clothes are dry, except for the butt, coz its resting on the seat..they call it wind biking... now, because of the rains , while i ride back, all of me gets wet except for the butt, so i call it UnWind Biking !! .....
and in
manuscrypts trivia
Just to prove that some things never work 100%.
Go to language tools on google, type in "my mom is nice and cool." and convert it from English to Spanish.
Then copy & paste the answer into the translate box and convert from Spanish back to English.
and seen outside a secondhand shop : WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

One on One with the One - Part Deux

the sequel to the hugely popular (huh?) post "One on One with the One - Part One" ;)

M: lots of people have been questioning on similar lines, but havent found answers yet
G: some of the smarter guys in your species, aristotle , einstein etc have said that if the right question is asked, the answer can be found
M: why didnt they ask the right ones then?
G: oh well, maybe that wasnt the purpose of their existence...
M: is that the Truth then? finding a purpose for your existence and then doing it ? actually Wilde has said "Truth, in the matters of religion, is simply the opinion that has survived.
G: ah Oscar, he was a smart one..hehe... reminds me, he has also said that "When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers."
M: is that a truth too?
G: hmmm, let me put it this way, there was a time when prayers were made only when you guys reached the limits of endurance,
these days you actually think its my job to live your life...
M: you put us here, so....
G: when you drive a car, do you use the handbrake for emegency or always?
M: okay, i think i get your point, and yeah, i still dont have a car, thank YOU
G: here we go again, once in a while look around you
M: i do, and believe me, lots of people have cars.
G: grr, what about the people who cant even buy a bicycle?
M: yeah, but they were born that way
G: oh, and i suppose you had a hand in being born the way you are? lemme share some facts with you
- If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep .. you are richer than 75% of this world.
- If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace .. you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
- If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ... you are more luckier than the million who will not survive this week.
- If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation .. you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.
- If you can practise your religion without fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death ..you are luckier than three billion people in the world.
- If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful ..you are lucky because the majority can, but most do not.
- and you can read this, you are luckier than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.
G: i should say "count your blessings and thank the lord" , but then you'll start saying that i have an ego.
M: but whats behind selective answering of prayers?
G: well, sometimes the answer is 'no'.
M: but what do you get by making people suffer?
G: you create the problems, i dont .......
M: like i said, rather, like you said, i dont chose where/how i am born..
G: what about the opportunities you are given?
M: you are saying that i have a choice..
G: yes, and all that happens is by your choice, there might be strings attached to all the choices, but you choose..Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live....smell the flowers, love, be loved, be kind, be fair.. be human, in the way i wanted you to be...
and now in
manuscrypts trivia
try this site, its a color- personality test, think its good...
got this as a fwd
NIIT : Not Interested in IT
WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses
TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems
HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings
CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.
TNT : Till Next Time........ keep the faith :)

P.S..readers are requested to use 'post scrypts' and not 'comments'.. thank ye!!

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Blogalisation

wonderful to see that a lot of my league members are getting hot and sizzled up - started with blues, then it was w-bug and now its simon..and ahem,(just for the old trumpet's sake) readers please note that mera number aaaya tha, but no, i am not getting in to the 'been there, done that' spiel, my ego will not permit it...hehe
but damn, am i a lucky charm or what!!...no i am not, :), coz they are extraordinary bloggers anyway and linked by a lot of others. which is why i believe that rediff's modus operandi of classification, if they do follow any, is totally devoid of bias, and certainly not like what happens in ToI...hehe..plus, i can truly rely on it as a source for my league additions, more often than not...'hot and sizzling'..i like this kinda blogal warming...:)
but (yeah, unfortunately, theres always a but), on a more general level, i do hope that the 'blog' kind of social interaction does not go the way that everything else seems to be going..getiing a price tag attached.... some time ago, i would have laughed if someone told me that i would be buying packaged drinking water, now i fully believe that oxygen and feelings that i consider beyond the range of money like love, hate and many others , will become fully commercialised by the time i see 2010....
and therefore why should blogging be any different?.. it is only a matter of time before some ass clowns realise the commercial value of a weblog..and if we say that ultimately we can stop it because we are the users, i wouldnt agree coz the same holds true for water...
but yes, we can try, and so guys, on june 9th, international bloggers day, let us try to keep the grass green, the sky blue and the air free in our virtual community, burn the commercialisation bridge when we come to it and preserve blogalisation in the free form it enjoys now....
in manuscrypts trivia
another good fwd,
We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons",
where:
:) means a smile and
:( is a frown.
Sometimes these are represented by :-) and :-( respectively.
Well, how about some "assicons"? Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) a sore ass
{_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_?_) Dumb Ass

till next time, keep the faith and the blogal harmony....
P.S. hope archies doesnt release a card for international webloggers day!!
and please use Post Scrypts and not the rediff comments box

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

One on One with The One - Part One

One day on chat, a window popped up .......
G: Hi there, did u call me?
M: who r u? dont remember calling anyone..
G: heard you praying to me, thought i'd come over and chat...
M: nice line, but how do i know who u r ?
G: ha! just about sums up the state of humanity... they see me all around and still question my existence!! but just to prove a point, you saw that image of keira knightley and wished...(lost connection)
connection resumes
G: and wished that
M: ok ok i am a believer!!
G: men are so easy ;), hey, nowadays, you rarely think about me
M: are you a woman?
G: does it matter? but why do you ask?
M: oh, just the general tone of the conversation. but yeah, you are right, the personal rapport with you has kinda lessened..
G: dont worry, its only human..
M: i see a faint trace of ego there.....
G: not at all, ego is your own creation, your perception, i am what i am....
M: and i am what you made me
G: of course not, i gave you options, you chose
M: but werent they already made for me?
G: thats your justification. amazing how you guys always blame me for the bad things and never are happy for the good things...
M: so how do you manage all of us, our lives, our deaths
G: ah, trade secret, boy, if i told you, u might actually convince me to outsource it
M: are you american?
G: i am heavenly, why do you ask?
M: just a thought
G: i think things might be a lot clearer if i told you that you are not an extension of me, rules that u made dont apply to me, think beyond your perceptions
M: is that possible?
G: of course, how do you think great marketing ideas come about?
M: hey , do you have any?
G: yup, but wont tell you, that would be unfair to others
M: they wouldnt know
G: those are your rules and justifications, not mine
M: what about rights and wrongs that hold true forever
G: there is only one eternal truth
M: and that would be you?
G: think about it
............to be continued..........
and in
manuscrypts trivia
a guy joke and a girl joke
DON'T TEMPT A WOMAN
A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An English girl !!!"
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you."
"And, what happened to my present?"
'Which present?" She asked?
"The one I asked for -- the English girl!!"
"Oh, that" she said, "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if it's a girl"

BAD NEWS ABOUT BEER
Yesterday, University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a 1-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1) Gained weight.
2) Talked excessively without making sense.
3) Became overly emotional.
4) Couldn't drive.
5) Failed to think rationally.
6) Argued over nothing.
7) Had to sit down while urinating.
8) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
No further testing was considered necessary..........

till next time, keep the faith

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Democrassy

When an Italian born Roman Catholic asks a Muslim president to make a (now) Pakistan born Sikh, the Prime Minister, in a country thats predominantly hindu, and still a vast section of the world that considers it a xenophobic, 'prone to fanaticism' country, i started wishing Induism were a little more aggressive. Induism, because it can never go back to what the original way of life stood for, it has evolved due to internal and external reasons.....
When a buffoon like Bush unleashes savagery on whatever country he deems fit for having WMDs, supporting terrorism and a whole range of blah blah that only he understands, the world turns a blind eye, and then regains sight when a Best Bakery happens. "Hindu fanaticism at its worst!!".
The only political party that at least makes a semblance (in its own ways) of being Hindu friendly gets chucked out of power for (supposedly) India not having shined for the poor. and pray, what shine did the country get during the first 50 years of independence, when the congress was a virtual monopoly?
are we talking about an existence, that has created a north-south divide that is perhaps impossible to erase,
an era which boasted of the 'emergency'?, sure that must be something of a trophy for democracy in india,
a rule which created poster boys like laloo yadav, ram vilas paswan etc whose sole claim to fame is the caste vote
and a rule in which the Left stood watching while china screwed us, hell, they even applauded!!
in today's context , the same rule which is cosying to the Left,( who still think USSR exists.)
the secular coalition, which has a party called Muslim League in it, with ministerial berths!!
If this country is so secular, what is its problem with a hindu party. only because hindus are a majority. and are not aggressive enough!! because muslims are a minority and they need a party to get their rights, of which they already have more than enough!!
nobody talks of hindusim getting diluted, coz its a mature enogh religion to absorb. tomorrow if i launched a party called the hindu nationalist party, i would get a stay order from the supreme court, and the US would talk about fanaticism and immaturity and barbarism. but hey, would they let a mohammed or ram rule capitol hill? hell, they havent been able to get an african american in, that should happen in the next millenium.......
manuscrypts trivia
speaking of capitol hill, heard of the latest 'washingtonienne' sex scandal, read about it here, and then read some rare excerpts here or here.
and a good fwd i got
Special High Intensity Training
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from our employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our one program of Special High Intensity Training. (S.H.I.T.) We are striving to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company. If you feel that you do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T., please see your manager. you will immediately be placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list. Our managers are especially skilled in seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees who don't take S.H.I.T. will be placed in the Department of Employee Evaluation Program. (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.) Those who
fail to take S.H.I.T. will have to go to Employees Attitude Training. (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.)
Since our managers took. S.H.I.T. They dont have to do S.H.I.T. any more because they are full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be qualified to train others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List(B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get S.H.I.T. jobs and can apply for a Promotion to Director of Intensity Programming(D.I.P.S.H.I.T) If you have any questions,please direct them to our Head Of Training(H.O.T S.H.I.T.)
Thank you,

Boss in General
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T)