Thursday, October 21, 2004

Mission Mars

Since this is a long weekend, and I am already in clutches of one of my most fave emotions - laziness, I came to the early conclusion that I couldn't get myself to write an original post.Wokay, now that that is done with, let me present you an adapted version of a cool forward I got a few days back. Bangalore readers will identify with it promptly, and as for readers from others places, well, india may be a land of diversity in a lot of things, but as far as quality of roads go, we share a common here goes
Bangalore 2.a.m.

a time of the night when loneliness is the only companion, shadows the only followers, and beer, the only fuel. He was bouncing away merrily on his bike, when some bright lights stopped him. Yippee, movie shooting, he thought, will get to see some stars tonight. But, wait..uh oh!! I'm going to be kidnapped and they are going to do experiments on me, but wait again, this is no alien landing either.
He saw a well-clad man of foreign origin, and started walking towards him.
"Shhh", cautioned the man.
Softly he asked " What's happening brother?".
"NASA..."the man whispered, "I am Dr. Morgan from the Mission Mars programme".
A thought crossed his mind, "i am not the only one who's had beer"
But, on watching a few men in spacesuits bumping around, he realised the man was speaking the truth. He got talking to Dr.Morgan and was informed that NASA had been trying to create surroundings that would resemble the rocky, crater filled Southern Hemisphere of Mars and had failed miserably.This led to a desperate search for test sites on planet earth.
Very few places on earth qualified, only Iraq (exploded Oil Wells), Sri Lanka, and Bangalore's own Bannerghatta Road.
With Iraq ruled out as a high-risk venture, and no shooting possible in Sri Lanka because of the prevailing cease fire (bush handled this personally?!!), India was the only feasible option. Plus the costs were rock bottom. And although a few questions were posed on yet another outsourcing to bangalore, they were quickly resolved, because of the unparalleled surface that Bannerghatta road offered.
The Mars rover and Endeavour were bouncing away too, on the rugged surface.
Suddenly, he spotted the CM standing quietly in the distance. He walked up to him and smiled. The CM nodded, smiling softly.
He looked at the CM enquiringly and asked "Was this your idea"?
"Yes" the CM said almost humbly, too modest to acknowledge the enormity of his effort.
"So, what's in it for us?" he probed.
"Millions of dollars, that's what they have promised, and once this gets approved as a broken earth site it will be used regularly, for other missions too. I also have plans of breaking up the other roads, which are happening under the guise of flyovers" the CM confided.
He shuddered at the enormity of the attempt. How all of us puny Bangaloreans cribbed, raved and ranted every time we came across a broken road. How blind we have all been, eyes shut, we refused to view the big picture. Every bad road is a million-dollar opportunity. He silently bade farewells to Dr. Morgan and the CM and rode away.
As he reached the BTM flyover, he got a flat tyre, he looked down at the guilty protruding rockfragment, and uncharacteristically smiled. Pushing the bike slowly, he thought to himself "the martians must be green with envy"

until next time, enjoy the ride

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