Thursday, December 28, 2006

Deal with it

Most people he had spoken to were convinced that it was a good deal.. not that he had required a second opinion, because, as usual, he had made his own decision after much thought.. but this time it wasnt just another professional, rational decision, there was a lot of emotion involved in it too..
He had wanted the particular computer ever since he saw it in his colleague's hands.. it added to his colleague's personality.. the nasty ones would even venture to say that it gave him a new personality, which was not exactly in a good state till then.. it somehow gave him a new found confidence, and truth be told, he was quite convinced that the comp had a major hand in taking his colleague to new heights..
And thats how he had decided to go shopping for the computer.. in fact, he didnt have to, because like most deals these days, people came to him asking him if he wanted it.. he pretended to think about it for a long time, because he wanted to get the best deal possible.. and by a stroke of luck, his colleague announced that he had decided to move on, and he was giving off his comp...
though he was initially not very comfortable with the idea of a second hand comp, specially since it had a voice recognition system, the deal convinced him otherwise, and the tech support guys assured him that there would be no problem, and thats how he had ended up with this special comp..
and now, within a few days, it was creating problems.. it refused to adapt to a certain inflection in his speech... the worst part was that it was something that was very dear to him, and he didnt want to make any efforts to change it..but he had already signed the deal and there was no goingback, but it really wouldnt have the SRK effect, if he didnt say c-c-c-computerji in K-k-kaun Banega
until next time samay samaapt..

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Next Level

Its a bit like games.. once we get into a game, what keeps us going is the eagerness to master the level and reach the next level.. as we proceed, it gets more and more difficult as each level is designed to be tougher than the previous one... The stakes also get higher as it might be difficult to do it all over again, and all the gains amassed would be wasted...
And thats why its a bit like games - life... Its always a play to master the current level and thereby reach the next level.. and the stakes get higher, because it is life, and not just a game... theres a standard of living, peer pressure and so many other things that make it a must to survive and move ahead.. the only difference being that unike the game, the progress in life cannot be made to stop.. or maybe we cant bring ourselves to make it stop... for its a race and like the cliche goes, you have to run to at least stay in the same place... and the things around will not slow down to accomodate you..
we get used to what we can get from the money we earn - most important among them a lifestyle and its accessories, and once we master one level, we are eager to move on to the next level and find out what it has to offer.. and theres no end in sight... perhaps the biggest winner is one who can will himself to be satisfied at a particular level and not move to the next level, inspite of all the pressures from within and without.. for maybe it has been rightly said that when its a rat race, what matters in the end is that whoever wins,they all remain rats...
infancy, school, college, the first job...sometimes, its true that the grass is green on the other side... only, i am just looking back, and speaking of the grass i had been on...
until next time, theres no level playing field...

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Nick of Time

Nothing moved in the darkness, almost nothing. Nicholas crouched low to avoid being seen by anyone who might be out late, rather, early... His eyes quickly moved among the houses choosing the order in which he had to move... he had only a few hours left before dawn, and thankfully his work was almost done.. but only almost, because each house brought with it, its own set of problems and demands, and he could only hope that his preparations were adequate..but this was his night, and was determined to get the job done..
all the houses turned to be easy jobs, and he didnt have to exert much of an effort.. he finally reached the last house, and quickly scaled the fence, hoping there was no dog..that would spoil his plans..he tried the door.. he didnt expect folks to leave it open, but no harm in trying, that would make his job easy... but it was not to be. he tried all the windows and doors around the house, but with no luck... the roof, that was his only chance.. he climbed up with some difficulty and saw the thing he was hoping for - a chimney. he hoisted himself on to its top and slowly tried to get in.. in a few minutes he came to the painful realisation, again, that he was getting too old for this.. and too bulky..
he finally reached the end of his journey, most of his dress covered in soot.. he realised he had no time to waste.. he scanned the house and found what he was looking for, in the main hall.. this was what made the job worth it.. he set about his task and was almost finished when a door at the end of the hall opened, and a small boy emerged.. he had nowhere to hide.. thankfully the boy was only half awake, and on seeing him, frozen in amazement, giving him just enough time to make his exit, thankfully not the same as his entry...
it would be sometime before the boy would even remotely succeed in convincing his parents, and he could bank on their cynicism to ensure that he remained just a myth.. after all, who believed insanta claus?

until next time, merry xmas

Monday, December 18, 2006

Bin Tere kya New Year plans?

If you are planning to bring in the new year in Goa
You might wanna think it over
For Israel says Al Qaeda would also like to have a blast
And if you go by stories from the past
It aint exactly a champagne supernova

until next time, whoa!!

Thursday, December 14, 2006


A couple of weeks back, Sunday Times had a poll, conducted among 1000+ people across India on their beliefs about God, religion, after-life, ghosts and various other things that we think about, on starlit nights...
I've just about finished Book Five of the Ramayana Series, and coincidentally also came across this article, which also raised a few questions on mythology and God...Imagine all the characters that we are so familiar with - Rama, Ravana, Krishna.. were they just characters of imagination or did they actually exist, a long, long time ago, and over a period of time the story of their lives got embellished to such an extent that they became gods and demigods... the amazing similarity between the different myths from civilisations around theworld also point to their actual existence... the remains of Dwaraka, the remains at Mohenjodaro resembling a nuclear holocaust, the drawings of Pushpak - the celestial flying machine, now believed to have been powered by a mercury based fuel, all add to this...
And thus adds on another set of questions to our FAQs - are our myths based on actual facts, or were they made by the creators of God? the almost eternal question of whether god created man or man created god? but i also believe that it might be just a matter of time before we find the answers.. after all, its only been a few thousand years since we have been around and we had lives before and after the discovery of fire, metals, and even civilisations, and we have managed to find the answer to some questions, and hopefully will learn to tap the resources beyond our five senses sometime in the future...of course, for us, these still remain faqs with several possible answers..

until next time, if only He had user support...

Monday, December 11, 2006

The war

is on, on a weekend, when to my unspoken words of "Aaj mere paas TV hain, music system hain, computer hain, fridge hain..tumhare paas kya hain?"
the unspoken answer from the electricity board is "mere paas bijli hain"

until next time, absolute power...

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Some Threesome facts

It aint often that an austere soul tags you, so let me oblige :)

3 Things that scare me: Alzheimers, some of my previous posts, what did i say last?
3 People who make me laugh: Ram Gopal Varma, All The Simpsons, Bill Watterson
3 Things I love: Music, Fiction, D (not the company, just her company)
3 Things I hate: Most vegetables, Most work, pretentiousness (of course i know the meaning without looking it up)
3 Things I don’t understand: Himesh Reshammiya's popularity, poetry (but Cherie, i will, one day!!), why we have to work for a living
3 Things on my desk: Clutter, a hot Channel V VJ(oh, okay, its only a calendar), theres clutter, remember? i cant see anything more!!
3 Things I’m doing right now: typing '3 things', listening to music, no, i cant tell you THAT!!
3 Things I want to do before I die: Create something immortal, Travel in time, Solve the Who?What?Why? questions
3 Things I can do: read, dig my nose in public, complete a tag
3 Things I can’t do: Be social for the sake of it, have less sleep, tell you the third thing
3 Things you should listen to: good music, voices in your head (no, you dont need treatment), wife's opinions (your own wife's!!)
3 Things you should never listen to: Loudspeakers at close range, instructions in Fwd mails (does not include ones from the boss), my advice
3 Things I’d like to learn: Sneeze with my eyes open, turn my head 360 degrees, fly without wings
3 Favorite foods: Chocolate (dessert forms. oh, okay we also accept other forms),Chicken ,Bheja fry (usually D's)
3 Beverages I drink regularly: Water, Tea, Gatorade (how the hell was i supposed to know its a sports drink & regulary because i had to finish the damn bottle)
3 Shows I watched as a kid: Spiderman on Sunday, Star Trek, Desperate Housewives (hey, i'm still a kid)

until next time, who wants to do the threesome? :D

Monday, December 04, 2006


" I am a self made man"
" Er, does that mean you are a mo**erfu**er?"

until next time, never mix procreation and philosophy

Thursday, November 30, 2006

What Actually Happened

Dravid: We lost, again
Chappell: The way you played, that was expected
Dravid: But you are supposed to be the coach, arent you?
Chappell: Exactly, i cant play the match for you, can I?
Dravid: Thank God, it might have been worse
Chappell: Careful mate, i am not paid to listen to this trash
Dravid: Oh yeah, try this then
Dravid's scream was echoed by the next day's papers, whose headlines screamed
"Dravid out of ODI series following injury ... An avulsion fracture on the middle finger of his right hand has ruled Rahul Dravid out of the rest of the ..."
until next time, cracks in the wall..

Monday, November 27, 2006

Saamne yeh kaun aaya, dil main hui hulchul

Every major city in the world has seen this as part of its lifecycle, a large number of people flowing into a city because of its potential to grow and accomodate.. and not just accomodate, but create chances and opportunities for the people who flow in... Bangalore is in such a state now..
Some of these people justify their decisions totally, and equal the heights to which the city grows.. i dont have a problem with them.
Some of them just about manage to hold their own, living in an unfeeling, ambivalent way, i dont have a problem with them either.
The worst cases are those who fail to even hold on, and end up not even having a chance, idont have a problem with them at all..
And then there are some from within the last set, who, in their state of despair, choose to end their existence..i dont have a problem with that too..
i have a problem with those who choose to do the above in front of my kinetic honda, every day!! it has come to a point where i believe its a conspiracy to get me to their state..
until next time, driving me crazy!!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Hu mour?

Who would have thought that i'd be writing a post on the Chinese president's visit to India, but all the possibilities below,and the ones that you'd come up with encouraged me to write this Who's Hu post!! Of course some sceptics would call it chinese torture..
One fine morning, Manmohan Singh wakes up to the ringing of his doorbell. He opens the door and is shocked to hear a smiling Oriental sing
'Jaanam dekh lo, mit gayee dooriyan,
Main yahaan, Hu yahaan, Hu yahaan, Hu yahaan'
and so the conversation starts
He: Who are you?
Hu: I am the president of China
He: No, Hu is the president of China
Hu: I am Hu
He: Thats what I have been asking! who are you?
after a while, once the identity issues have been cleared

He: Who says Arunachal Pradesh belongs to China?
Hu: Yes, Hu says Arunachal Pradesh belongs to China.
He: I am glad you agree, but who can resolve this?
Hu: Yes, Hu can resolve this.
For now, i shall stop this line of thought, and let you guys add on, and draw your attention to all the other possibilities..

Jackie Chan suing Hu for the title of his autobiography 'Hu am I'...
Pepsi bringing back the campaign 'Hu Ha India, Aaya India'
Maruti Esteem launching in China with the line 'Hu's big car is this?'
okay okay, dont create a hullabaloo now..

until next time, who wants to add on?

Monday, November 20, 2006

The Times They are A-Changin'

Dr. No (1962)

Die Another Day (2002)

Casino Royale (2006)

until next time, shaken not stirred

Thursday, November 16, 2006

The Wonder Years

No, not the show that used to be on air quite a time back, and which gave so many wonderful and quotable quotes and got us involved in the life and times of kevin arnold.. that edition of the wonder years ended quite a while back...this is of an 'oops i did it again' kind and a kevin who has just reached the end of his version of wonder years..
yup, he definitely had a wonderful time, as he piggy backed the humongous success of his wife, becoming a kind of celebrity himself, appearing on reality shoes and wwe, all culminating in his own album... and its a strange coincidence that its titled 'Playing with Fire'.
Which brings me to question the entire arrangement, its downright surreal.. like a carefully staged show... right from the time they married, to the kids, to the PR stories on how all was not well between the couple, and to the time when Britney said that she was fed up...
britney gets the additional mileage even when she has no album or a popular song running on the airwaves, kevin gets his claim to fame, and the kids, well, hope they at least get a life... and for all you know, this could be part of the plot too, and kevin will patiently wait till she says hit me baby one more time...

until next time, so who really got speared?

Monday, November 13, 2006

The Sick Gentleman?

while that may be popular opinion, and the internet had a big hand to play in the entire Jessica Lall case, i quite agree with some of the statements he made about the media in this interview...

until next time, hey ram!!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

I am What IM?

Maybe, just maybe, the virtual world can be divided into two depending on the kind of IM it indulges more in..One , of course, is Instant Messaging, and the other is Intellectual Masturbation..

until next time, what is your Identity Makeup?

Monday, November 06, 2006

In reality

Pooja Bedi got up from the couch and tried to dance, but the man in black and his two co-judges didnt fancy it, and in the end it was another case of 'Jassi jaisi koi nahi'..
Some sales guy in BPL, Mumbai landed up with a bonus because a particular couple decided to buy 200 SIMs and tried rigging their chances. of course now they are dancing to the tune of the Mumbai police...
In case you have no clue of what i am talking about, you, my friend, are out of touch with reality,shows that is, because i've been referring to the two desi versions of 'Dance with the Stars'..
For a whole lot of TV stars and celebrity chefs and bollywood directors, the last few days have been a dance..and after the chronicles of one abhijeet sawant, life's been a song even for some kids..and the latest one, which started off last weekend is one thats featuring Arshad Warsi for the desi version of Big Brother... 13 celebrities under one roof for 3 months, with no outside communication - har daily soap ka baap, so says apna circit and all their movements are going to be followed by closed circuit cameras..bole toh, privacy ki to vaat lag gayi, mamu!! the part thats most interesting is that this blog's favorite celebrity is going to be one of the participants - the one, the only, Rakhi Sawant.. if she can create a controversy out of an ordinary birthday party, imagine the havoc she can cause, when she knows the public is watching..just imagine the possibilities :))
and going by the SIM card fiasco, i wonder whether the line between real life and reel life is getting even more blurred.. and maybe its not just for the celebrities, but the ordinary folk - and again, not just those who take part in it, but the ones who watch it...
until next time, surreal..

Thursday, November 02, 2006


The last week saw Bangalore witness the social unveiling of two potential prodigal sons - one, the son of a fashion designer/ page 3 fixture and the other, the son of the chief minister and the grandson of a former prime minister/ current state kingmaker/ humble farmer.
Adam Bidappa, son of designer and page 3-proclaimed fashion guru Prasad Bidappa- decided to expound four letter wisdom to cops who were trying to enforce the 11.30 deadline. the policemen, who, in the best of times are not great conversationalists, waited for Adam to get physical and then decided to let their lathis do the talking, and shut up Adam, verbally and physically... Like father, like son, would be a fair thing to say, since the dope on Prasad is that he had been shaken up a bit when he was in Dubai last, for possession of well, dope.... adam's famous last words- do you know who i am?
Nikhil Gowda, son of chief minister Kumaraswamy and grandson of former Prime Minister and self proclaimed humble farmer Deve Gowda (made famous by photos of him sleeping on the dais), landed in a sports car and created a scuffle in a local hotel, and later claimed that he was beaten up by the hotel staff.. the government machinery is (for once) working in top class speed to make sure the case is hushed up.. the famous last words were "Do you know who my father is ?" (though i wonder why there wasnt a auto retort for that from the hotel guys who were mallus - if you dont know, how are we supposed to know?)...
and so, in the world's largest democracy, in a city whose worth is being built by an IT meritocracy,a new setup is being made - bratocracy...

until next time, a class apart..

Monday, October 30, 2006

Vox Flopuli

They say cricket is bigger than movies as far as entertainment goes... and a combination of both would be double the fun... so it shouldnt really be a surprise when it became difficult to choose which was more entertaining... the match itself or the panel of extra innings - mandira "i cant talk but i can shock" bedi, navjyot "oh i can talk" sidhu, geoffrey "i can talk if that idiot sidhu shuts up" boycott et al... and if those caricatures werent enough, we had celebrities dropping in - Abhishek "dads shadow is a cool place to hang out" Bachchan, Aishwarya "i am about to be AB too" Rai, to promote Doom Too...
But sadly, if you were the kind who were betting on India (in a purely non scam sort of way) it would have been a sad day yesterday... for now, the blue billion can turn green when someone else tales the trophy... in the end none of the hoohaa could do it.. and yet again we end up saying "Who? Ha! India, Yeah Yeah India"... for, barring a betting spree, not even a billion people can swing matches if the 11 men dont decide to think, bat, bowl and field...
until next time, feeling blue?

Thursday, October 26, 2006

The grand sale

Girish called me earlier this week. In a very practised spiel, he told me what good a demat account would do to my life and finances.. and in a very practised way, i said thanks but no thanks..On an average i get around 3 calls a week giving me stories about lifetime free credit cards, holiday packages, insurance etc.. yes, i am kind of a loser, because i think thats way below the average number of calls one gets.. of course, i am a notch above an ex colleague who used to have extended conversations on various subjects with the pizza call center people... :)
The latest mall in the city is the traffic signal.. there they try to sell me goggles, handsfree kits, CDs, magazines and newspapers, wallets, no, apartments i think are still a little way off..And yes, how could i forget!! the traffic signals also house those who try to sell me their deformities, and in the process, perhaps my guilt.. the guilt of having been born with all limbs intact, the guilt of having a house to stay, food to eat, clothes to wear...
a few years back, i used to be a sales guy, selling broadband... even these days, i become a sales guy occasionally, when i am attending an interview.. i am selling my skillset and trying to negotiate the best deal possible for myself...and thats what i have realised, at the end of the day, its one big marketplace, we are all selling something, sometimes to others, sometimes to ourselves...

until next time, for everything, theres a price to pay...

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

The World and Me

Ah, One of those days when i feel i can take on the world...
of course the world sees many like me on a daily basis...
The world couldn't care less..

until next time, just another global issue

Thursday, October 19, 2006


I saw at least three posts last week on the title, so i decided that even though i have never owned one in my life, i'd contribute my two cents... i am amazed by how a word can so drastically change in context just by its varying forms - adjective, noun and verb...
as an adjective, i like theories and hate bottles
as a noun, i am ambivalent, swinging towards hate
as a verb, now thats another ballgame altogether :)

until next time, petite post

Monday, October 16, 2006

The Right wavelength

I saw the following line in a book, and immediately felt this applied to a lot of my virtual friends and perhaps a few faces i see around me..
"There was something else too - a hiddenness. He acted like he had something important going on, thaton some frequency of his life beyond the visible spectrum there was great exceitement."
Hmm, it might have applied to me too, but even putting on the act is boring :)

until next time, transmission

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Help, they're all after my money

If you happen to be in Bangalore, there are two places you could go for the mall experience(mauling and getting mauled) - Forum and Garuda.... and if its not enough that they have so many shopping options that even people such as me,who have been accused innumerable times of being a miser, are sorely tempted to put a password to my wallet an promptly forget it, they both have shopping festivals running simultaneously.. and everyone but everyone is offering discounts like they were going out of fashion...
which has led me to the conclusion that they are all after my money, no, not just me, but other poor sods like me who consider the visit to the mall an integral part of an otherwise non existent social life..
while that was fine earlier, when most of the things on display were easily out of bounds, now that large two digit numbers have been displayed as percentage off, the situation can be summarised by a nice line i read a few days back - "Lead me not to temptation, i can find the way myself..."

until next time, ratting on the malls

Monday, October 09, 2006


He : Guys, do you want anything from Calcutta?
Another He: Riya Sen.
Yet Another He: Now thats ambitious. Its difficult to even get some common sense out of him.

until next time, wanna add two cents?

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Miss Leading

In case you are wondering which nubile contestant in what paegant i am talking about, all ican say is that your line of thought is skewed, but then, that was just the idea- to illustrate a point..
The newspapers and channels have been famous for these kind of headlines for quite some time now, part of an overall theme of being one up, creating news and packaging it in such a way as to seduce, no thats not the correct word, theres another one thats being bandied about by a lot of people in the fraternity - titillate (no, it does not mean delayed development of mammary glands!!)..
Indiatimes, being an extension of the paper in a lot of ways, also uses this regularly, but i was in for a surprise when i went checking for the actress/model who was seen with the fastest Indian (which is also open for debate) following this link 'Diva with India's fastest man'..
until next time, a mere slip of a blogger

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Badhai Ho

It is a natural progression, parents producing offsprings... Thats perhaps one of the few things on which Darwin and God wouldnt have an argument.. because thats what evolution is all about..
It is not as though when parents grow old, they cease to be useful to the community or are ill equipped to survive in the world.. after all thats what they would have been doing for years, but after a certain time, nature has a way of bringing to the fore an offspring that is better equipped to handle the world than its parent could evolve to be..All parents would love their offspring to be better than them, in every way..
and so the parent would have been pleased when people claimed that its offspring had better features and at least from the first few days of experience, the people familiar with the parent claimed that the offspring had qualities they had hoped the parent would have.. of course,it wasnt a perfect being, but it definitely was better...
And so, while some firang geeks would care to describe it as the second Greek alphabet, at least those of us populating this country and speaking the language should realise it for what it is, and offer our congratulations to the service we use, when we get to know (as they would say in Bollywood) "Aap ko Beta hua hai" ..

until next time, springing surprises..

Monday, September 25, 2006

Reclamation cost

If you have been watching the cricket series or i guess, even television in general around this part of the world, you couldn't have missed a (literally) screaming red Tata Safari asking you to reclaim your life.. I have seen around 3 print advertisements of this, and the copy is amazing, have a look here if you havent seen them yet... in fact i liked the entire concept of'reclaim your life', i would have even bought the SUV, but it starts at 6.4 lakhs..
And hence a small issue with the enire concept.. if i do decide to buy that awesome red colored machine, i'd have to take a loan, since old man Ratan doesnt know me from Jack...that leaves me paying off a reasonably big four figure sum as emi.. now assuming that most parts of the machine would be non edible, that necessarily means i have to be working on a salary that allows me to also spend on stuff that i can eat, and wear and all those other things that unfortunately are the hallmarks of civilisation...
that reminds me of the old joke about the city guy who sees a man sitting by the river, fishing,and asks him whats his daily catch.. then goes on to teach him a thing or two about business, on how he should invest in a bigger fishing rig, get rich, build a processing plant, get richer, start exporting, get even richer and then take a vacation, and maybe go fishing, at which point, the man quietly points out that thats exactly what he is doing now...
so the point being, if its all about reclaiming life, is buying an SUV worth 6.4 lakhs exactly the best way to start? or maybe i am just not the target audience :)

until next time, wonder if the ad has a disclaimer..

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Them Remembers...

In a job interview

Them: Its a marketing profile, but you'll have to help out the sales guys too. They have a lot of promotions.
He: Absolutely fine, so long as i get promoted too, once in a while..

A year later

He: Its been a year, i think i need a hike.
Them: Go ahead, take one

until next time, work @ humour...

Monday, September 18, 2006

Clothes make a man

I strongly believe that its one of the smarter sayings that came out when they used to make such sayings.. and the reason is nothing but the fact that it is so open ended and can be made to fit any situation, the statement, that is...Among the mallrats, a discount sale would make the statement 'Clothes make a man happy' (at the moment of purchase) and 'Clothes make a man broke' (after checking the card transactions).
On a sidenote - gentlemen, i am sorry, with the mall age, those shopping laws apply to men too, and its still okay to be in denial..
in the context of all those wet sari sequences in Bollywood which they have now replaced with music videos, clothes make a man____.....Those were just examples to illustrate the usage of the saying.. Getting back, in my case, it can be suitably altered to 'Clothes make a man disturbed'... and this is not a recent phenomenon..
it started from when, a couple of decades back, my favourite pair of shorts was converted into what could pass of as a short skirt with a slit, by a maid who had her own ideas about the stitch in time.. the stitches were so meticulously removed that not even ninety stitches could mend it, forget nine.. couldnt sew it, couldnt sue her either!! One of my other disturbing memories is that of a nice black shirt being converted by a washing machine into what Snow White could wear to a funeral.. a jet black shirt with puffs of white all over.. by the time i knew about inside out and floss, the flaws made the shirt unusable..
These days, we have a washing machine who comes in everyday morning, and wreaks havoc on my clothes.. She adds dark colors to light shades and vice versa, on close inspection, i think i can see floral prints too, the choice of colors definitely makes her a Govinda fan...and my trousers, when i see them flapping around like Thakur's sleeves on the clothesline,i shudder.. not for anything else, but for the subtle chinese-like designs that have been added to them by punctilious use of the bar soap.. yes, i guess the stories they have of chinese tortures using bars of soap after removing the trousers must be true..
yes, clothes make a man disturbed... next time, you see someone with clothes which shouldntbe having floral prints or weird designs, and a disturbed look, it could be me, or is it just me?

until next time, some issues cant be ironed out..

Thursday, September 14, 2006

World of Sports

Doordarshan, Sunday, 4 pm.. remember? In the days of only 'Distant Viewing', this was what i used to wait for on Sunday evenings.. before the days of live transmissions, this was your portal to get glimpses of international matches.. i used to curse them when they chose amatuer wrestling, billiards, chess and inane stuff i never knew could be classified as sport, and the entire show went without cricket, the only game i had an interest in..
Times have changed, and tennis, Formula 1 have been added to the interests, and therefore last week is an eventful one to me... early in the week, my favourite Las Vegas gamble in any tennis tournament, the one i used to bet on in any match, despite whatever odds- Andre Agassi, played his last match.. he lost the game, set and match, but in a larger picture, there would be few who could match him.. i was a fan from when he said Sampras looked like something "that swung off a tree" to the time when he said "Sampras, Sampras, Sampras, Sampras, Sampras" when asked who were the five greatest players the game had seen.. Of course i hated him a for a few days when he married Graf, but then that was only a few the sport that starts with 'love all', he ended it, loved by all..
Monza witnessed a great race last weekend, Schumacher is now a couple of points from Alonso,and there are still 3 races left.. But that was not the only reason why Monza was eagerly awaited for, this was the place where Schumacher would make an announcement about his future.. and announce he did, his retirement. Another favourite, on a different track.. In a sport that starts when the 5 lights go off, and ends when the chequered flag is waved, he had a career chequered with controversy, but more brightly lit than any other..
They leave behind empty spaces in an ordinary fan's mind, empty spaces that cant be filled again,because in a different corner of the world, he grew up with them, cried when they won and cried when they lost.. Matches and races created memories that were special, memories that reminded him of how it was when they were the icons, they were the supermen.. they were the ones who he thought would last forever..
and so, their departure also tells him that times have changed, and a new generation is busy creating its own heroes.. its a new age, one that also has virtual XBox heroes along with real ones, its an age thats isnt so easy to belong to, when he is used to a different league of heroes..and so, like with every other thing, he relies on memories, bittersweet memories... he closes his eyes, sees the stadium, hears the frenzy and remembers the days that used to be, and the times that used to be....and applauds an era that has just made a final bow..
until next time, game over

Monday, September 11, 2006

And that would explain a lot of things..

"..They would return to unwanted jobs, unloved families, unchosen friends, to drawing rooms, evening clothes, cocktail glasses and movies, to unadmitted pain, murdered hope, desire left unreached, left hanging silently over a path on which no step was taken, to days of effort not to think, not to say,to forget and give in and give up. But each of them had known some unforgotten moment - a morning when nothing had happened, a piece of music heard suddenly and never heard in the same way again, a stranger's face seen in a bus - a moment when each had known a different sense of living. And each remembered other moments, on a sleepless night, on an afternoon of steady rain, in a church, in an empty street at sunset, when each had wondered why there was so much of suffering and ugliness inthe world. They had not tried to find the answer and they had gone on living as if no answer were necessary. But each had known a moment when, in lonely, naked honesty, he had felt the need of an answer.."
until next time, ain't Rand right?

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Jab Tak Suraj Chand rahega...

Remember BJP's "India Shining" campaign? While it didnt exactly help them shine in the elections, it was perhaps the first time in a long time that an actual campaign was carried out based on a central idea.. the only other ones i can think of were by Indira Gandhi - 'Garibi Hatao' and 'Indira is India', but 'India Shining' was at a different level and aimed at a different target audience..A few days back, i saw an ad by Happydent, which i thought would have been a great ad for the above campaign too- because it ended up with a lot of people smiling and getting the city to shine withtheir bright teeth.
Which made me wonder if thats the future of Indian politics.. ad campaigns executed by the country'sbest agencies after going through the whole hog.. i can imagine Laloo briefing Piyush Pandey on his party's vision, guiding light (himself), the manifesto, the gambhir samasyas which they would like to address, the audience they would like to speak to, the budget for the campaign, all over a clay cup of buffalo milk that Rabri treats her special guests with... the brief would perhaps be given in railway compartment or Laloo's home in Bihar so that Pandeyji can soak in the ambience and the true spirit of all that Laloo stands for.....
and somewhere in Delhi, Manmohan Singh is quietly spelling out the points that Madam has carefully jotted down for him, and patiently trying to explain to the hotshot creative guy why making a video featuring him and Soniyaji with the song 'Rock and Roll Soniye' would not be such a bright idea, especially considering that Amitabh appears in the original video... because Amitabh is so close to Amar Singh's Samajwadi party.. Amar Singh, who is so thankful for his khushnaseebi, because his ad would feature the Big B, Small B, Jaya B and if he could persuade Anil,even Tina Bhabee...
Buddhadeb hoping that his cadres wouldnt see red on Rituparno making an ad with him and Bipasha, so that in Bengal, Mamta has 'No Entry'...Down south, Chandrababu Naidu would be making a laptop presentation to Nagesh Kukkonoor on his plans for Hyderabad and almost ending the story when Nagesh suggests it should be called 'Hyderabad Blues'..and Narendra Modi arguing that he has enough troubles already and cannot allow a campaign that goes 'Kem Che' because of its guerrilla warfare and revolutionary connotation..

until next time, if they think, they Cannes :)

Monday, September 04, 2006

Dual Duel

He was tense, not surprising, considering that this would be a historical event for him, a milestone... And he had worked hard for it. There were times when he had thought he would fall by the wayside somewhere along the journey. Before the moment was on him, he wanted to close his eyes and travel the path all over again in his mind, for the moment would pass in a flash, and he wanted it to be always momentous in his mind.
The numbers hadnt reached 199 just like that. Each one was worked for, with diligence. What was more significant was that he wasnt a hard hitter, so there were no boundaries, no sudden leaps in the score, it was an accumulation process. He had been tired in between, sorely tempted to stop, but he had willed himself on, for he knew that he would be happy at the moments to come, and he wouldnt really want to miss them.
Thankfully he didnt have any major critics who might have dampened the enthusiasm, though he didnt have any major fans either, but then he was doing this mostly for the joy of it, and not for the accolades.Yes, he was happy, a double century didnt come everyday, and he hadnt forgotten the joy he had felt when he had got his first century.

until next time, two much? :)

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Of old wines and new bottles

Its not exactly breaking news that wines get better as they grow older, i think it also applies to some whines, but thats just another silly pun..While there's nothing to beat the old wine in the old bottle, new bottles are easily tolerable.. and before i whine any further, let me get the context across - friends.. no,not the orkut kind, but the ones developed when you were too young to know better..:)
The couple of friends i have managed to have (inspite of myself) might be ROTFL right now, reading me write about something about which i am so ill versed about, but thats okay..Like Ash said recently, i have reached an age when i know that it will be extremely difficult to make new friends, given my distinct laziness to keep in touch etc.. and therefore old friends popping out are indeed a welcome relief..
unlike wines, we cant be sure we become better with age, in fact i think, over a period of time, we manage to change ourselves to unrecognisable entities.. and thats why its good to have old friends saying hi, because like an enid blyton book, or an 80's movie, or the college photograph or an old song, it takes us back in time, it makes us nostalgic, and more often than not, happy... it reminds us of times that used to be and more importantly, what we once used to be...

until next time, hi :)

Monday, August 28, 2006

Chit Chat

Apart from the odd skeletons in my closet, i also keep a few games, of the computer kind. this is about both... For a few months now, i have been frustrated at Level 6 of 'Claw'. I resisted the urge to get the cheatcode for quite sometime, but finally succumbed and relived the sheer delight of having beat the system.
Relived, because there was a phase when using 'chits' to beat the educational system was a thrill. From the mundane of keeping 'educational material' in shirt sleeves to swallowing the material when there was a chance of getting caught by the shrewd exam invigilator, even education had exciting moments. The small pieces of paper with whole chapters in micro fontsize writing are a work of art, and mind you, making them is as difficult as studying. :)
So, as a part of the reliving,i thought of making a version of some terminology in the world of chits..
Application Development - A complex process in which the requirements are firmed up, the study material is analysed, and the number and kind of chits decided and get made.
ASCII- Accepted Standard Code for Information Interchange, used for Shareware.
Booting - The intitation of the chit usage process, named after the most common accessory used to store chits.
Cache - a dynamic pool of chits which are passed from batch to batch.
Developer - A person who makes chits.
Extensible Markup Language (XML) - A language that provides a format for describing structured data. This facilitates more precise declarations of content and more meaningful search results across multiple chits. A tool developed specifically for Wannabes, to extend their abilities and take their marks up.
Firewall - It is an entity that tries to prevent a Trojan Horse from entering. Strip searching is an example.
Green Card - The result of a successful use of chits. Named after the feeling evoked in other developers.
Hypertext Transfer Protocol (HTTP) - The protocol used to transfer chits between developers working in groups. The most common is hand to hand and the best innovation reported was using the belt loop/pocket of the invigilator. Named so because of the tendency of the developers to become hyper during the transfer of text.
Icon - A highly evolved developer, he has knowledge of Norton and all possible Trojan Horses, and is constantly developing more.
Norton - An invigilator who recognises most Trojan Horses.every wannabe's worst nightmare and a foe that icons and some lesser developers relish.
Novice - One end of the spectrum, these guys are terrorised by the thought of getting caught, and sometimes 'hang' and dont return your answer papers (from which they had conveniently copied).
Oracle - The most developed Icon, he can predict the questions that will appear in the exam. He cant be bothered to write the answers during the exam. he would have already managed to get some blank answer papers, on which he would have already written answers to expected questions,he just uses this.
Shareware- Typically used by a group, who have an arrangement. This material can be used by all in the group, and if theres time and benevolence, by a novice.
Trojan Horse - The material used to bring in chits. It could be anything from the clothes one wears to reference books to plaster casts. The worst known trojan horse is a sweater in the middle of May.
Wannabe - He brings his own material, but has it in abundance, and can be seen searching the entire duration, because he doesnt know where he has kept what.

until next time, gotchit?

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Getting Real

A few months ago, i had written about how, at the end of it all, bloggers also are humans, well, most of them exhibit some human characteristics for sufficiently long periods oftime for us to conclude so, and therefore, exhibit the grey shades of any normal existence... although somewhere deep(in my mind) there is a notion that somehow the blogging citizens of the virtual world are mature enough to be above the normal human frailties, every now and then, things happen that bring me back to reality...
This and this should bring you upto speed on the matter... This supposedly is the origin of the issue.. yes, lazybums, i know you wont bother, so heres the synopsis.. According to Chenthil, Kiruba, in a podcast, claimed to be the #1 blogger in the country, which Chenthil takes offence to.. we also have people taking sides on it.. which brings me to the non issue of being top blogger...
Of course, there is no debating in my mind as to who it is, you are reading him.. but seriously, in spite of denials, most of us write for the comments, which later evolve into a desire for meaningful interactions, and the more you get, the more confidence you gain to air your fare... the interactions sometimes form a kind of clique, which perhaps is a bad thing.. there are lots of blogs i frequent, where i like the posts, and inspite of commenting on those, there is never a reply to it, and over a period i duh the 'keepout' sign.. :).. to each, their point is that while the net is a great leveller in the way people create and exchangeideas, sometimes it does a create a snob value, and somehow creates levels which may be something thats against the basics of the medium and blogging...
somewhere, we had started writing for ourselves, and somewhere, we get into the trap of writing for something else, but sometimes, like a ray of sunshine from among the clouds,the real blogger comes out...

until next time, reality bites...

Monday, August 21, 2006

And he dreamt...

Raj and Rahul always win always, but the good thing about SRK's character in KANK is that he's a loser.. no, dont go away, this is not a review, nor a commentary on the plot, its just that the basic character could have been straight out of a book i'd have written in a parallel life..of course, it wouldnt be a fluffy romance, but yes, i'd have built the character from the loser.. no, this isnt about the book either, because the book is only one chapter in the parallel life...they say every person has a story to write, his own, the rest is what brings out the creativity..i really do wonder if it is that easy...

..Remember how we laughed away the hours
And dreamed of all the great things we would do..

some people dont dream, and maybe that is bliss... some people dream, but it is seen as just that, a dream, a parallel life which snaps close when reality comes knocking, it doesnt affect the routine life.. some people go a few steps, and then something happens, an accident, a butterfly effect' in the stomach which cost them the single chance to achieve their dream, a sacrifice for something that seems more important at that time... in all cases a single moment which alters the course of one's destiny.. some people have the strength to get up, brush the dust off, and chase it, the really lucky ones get there, and the only lucky ones have the satisfactionof trying...
And then there's my hero... he had a dream too, and it lived with him and grew within him, and thats all it did, because it never grew up... it wasnt a single moment that sealed a destiny, it just didnt materialise.. maybe he didnt try enough, maybe it was only the flavor he wanted, and not the dish, maybe he was always waiting for a moment to dawn on him, maybe he thought it was romantic to just have a dream and keep it that way, he would walk through life, thinking of a million ways it could have happened...

..Oh my friend, we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts, the dreams are still the same..

D loves walking on the terrace, and i am my usual lazy self.. a couple of days back, on an impulse, i called her to join me for a terrace walk.. and then it rained, and we had to come down...
and so i wonder if it would be easy to write the book, or sing the song, or play the sport if thats the only thing you ever wanted to do... yes, hundreds of people do it, and then theres my hero.. :)

until next time, dream a ream yet?

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Paws.. think about it...

Ever read the story titled "Monkey's Paw"?.. Was part of some English syllabus at school.. a quick rewind.. Its about a couple getting a monkey's paw as a gift, the paw has the power to fulfill three wishes, but they are also grimly warned to use the paw very cautiously, and to be careful of what they wish for, for it has strange way of doing things.. They could gift it to someone after their quota was over, but not before.. For a long time, the couple heeded the warning and refrained from using it, but one day the temptation grew too strong and one day they wished they could get some money. The next morning they had a visitor who said that their son had just got crushed under some machinery. He had died instanly, but they would be getting some money from the company. They were devastated and wished they could have their son back.. Sometime later their bell rang, and a disfigured grotesque creature told them he was their son and he had miraculously survived, they immediately wished that he were dead...

pause, back to track 1....A couple of weeks back, i was watching the Hungarian Grand Prix, and predicted that Alonso wouldnt finish the race. Given that Renault (alonso's car) was performing like nothing could go wrong, over a dozen races, it was an idle prediction, and along with my retirement prediction for the other Renault driver, Fisichella, and the Maclaren driven Raikkonen, and my race order - Button, de la Rosa, Heidfeld and , it was taken exactly as that - an idle passing statement. But with constant egging from co-watchers about my lack of prediction skills, i was fervently hoping and praying and all the while somehow gaining confidence that it would happen exactly that way.

As the race went by, my favourite Schumacher was gaining ground, Raikkonen and Fisichella were out, and i was enjoying, except that Alonso was still on the track and leading... And then with 19 laps left, the unthinkable happened, Alonso retired from the race, leaving Button leading, followed by Schumacher, de la Rosa and Nick Heidfeld.. the reason i had said schumi would be 4th was i was being relaistic and 5 points were enough to cut the championship lead to just 6 points. The race went on, and after some splendid racing de la Rosa overtook Schumi, with me cursing the toll the manuevres took on Schumi's tyres.. And then Heidfeld made his move. A furious Schumi literally went out of his way to prevent an overtake.. that proved to be his downhall, as a few seconds later, he was nursing the car into the pits, retired....

i learnt some things from this... there is something about His system that answers even a single person's prayers and gives him strength, if he wants it badly enough... but it also gives a monkey's paw clause to it.. what you want will happen, but what happens with it, and alongside it, is His call.. In this case,i assumed that while all the others retired, Schumi would complete the race.. I realise that in all his agreements, He is in the details...

until next time, i am still confident that i have cracked something in His entire puzzle.... ;)

Monday, August 14, 2006

The Ugly Duckling

That was exactly the way she thought her life had turned out to be... and what a life it was...from the beginning, everyone had hopes and aspirations that were somehow connected to her, she felt as though a million destinies were somehow entwined with hers.... she was expected to look beautiful, to be smart and grow up to be wise, to be nice and kind to her smaller cousins, and especially to her twin brother...
She had failed on almost all counts, and hence was considered an ugly duckling who didnt deserve to be around.. her friendly overtures were met with scorn or sometimes even worse, she was betrayed by those who she thought were on her side.. the fact that she was not married also didnt help her cause... well, for a while she was going around with someone but then she realised it wasn't going anywhere.. it turned out to be a good thing because he just made it a habit of breaking up after that...
But it seemed now, that she was gradually turning into a swan... everyone who saw her, or heard about her were all praise for her, and about the way she was maturing... everyone was betting on her to be an eventual success story, and create a mark in the world, because she was excelling in whatever she took an interest in - from IT and biotech to music and movies, the world was sitting up and taking was finally seeming that it was all worth it - all the people, all the languages, all the costumes and all the celebrations, all the hills and all the mountains, all the rivers and all the seas, and all the states she was made up of..yup, that was a life, and a life that was still far from its true potential.. for this woman, life would be sweet after 60...

until next time, jai hind :)

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Salman Khan to star in One Night at the Call Centre

While it was old news than Rohan Sippy had purchased the rights for Chetan Bhagat's second book 'One Night At the Call Centre", thats exactly what it has become - old news. The latest is that Atul Agnihotri, actor turned director, who in his acting days was compared to Arnie (no, not for the muscles, just the emotions) is going to direct the movie.
Chetan Bhagat's style in the book clearly showed that it was ready made for a movie, and his marketing efforts were very clear in projecting it as a timepass read. Acoording to Atul, a lot of actors are interested in the roles. But i guess the snag is that the minority of actors who can read and understand the book will immediately have an unfair advantage. Anyways, not to worry, to provide more bang for your buck, Atul has roped in Salman to play (hold on to something) Chetan Bhagat himself. Now i bet Salman and Chetan are busy congratulating each other, on each other's good fortunes.
However, since that scene is only a few pages in the book, with nothing but conversation and looking out of the train window, it is definitely going to be a tough task to fit in one shirt-removing scene and one nakabandi song by topesh Himself. I am also wondering on who they are going to choose as God's voice. Yes, what Hindi movie can be complete without God!! Why do you think i said Chetan had it all planned out!! Anyways, is it going to be Naseeruddin Shah, Om Puri, Amitabh Bachchan or will we hear a new God? A dangerous thought crossed my mind, will it be Himself?

until next time, its going to be a long night...
Disclaimer: There is none, check this out

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Happy Rakshabandhan...

Some things never change...

Guys used to look forward to Rakhi, they still do..

.. but they just wish there were no strings attached...

until next time, i am not obsessed, honest.. the fit was too good to ignore... :)

Monday, August 07, 2006

Independence Day preponed

In a stunningly radical move, the ruling Congress led UPA has gotten the Parliament to pass a law that makes the Independence Day a variable date. The lower house of parliament passed the bill late last week amidst heated debate and a walkout by the opposition; the upper house's approval made it law the following day. In a press release, the Opposition spokesperson had this to say,
" We are appalled by how this government could take such a step. This is against the spirit of the nation. Tell me, could you ever think of changing your birthday? It is something sacrosanct which evokes deep emotions in every citizen of this country."
The Congress party spokesperson defended " We have always maintained that we are a people friendly government. This particular law has also been enacted to give a benefit to the society in total. In any case, there is a clause that states that the variable date has to be within 2-3 days of the original independence day. Statistics would prove that a lot of people are unhappy when the day falls on Thursday/Tuesday etc, when they have to take an extra day leave for a long weekend. For example, this time the independence Day is on Tuesday, with this law, we can change it to Monday, and give the entire country a long weekend."

until next time, freedom to.....
Disclaimer: This work is just a product of the author's imagination.

Thursday, August 03, 2006


There is a university that i was once a part of, no, make that twice... once, when i spent years 3 to 13 living there, discovering a world on a tricycle, climbing buildings under construction, playing cricket for hours on end, walking among rows and rows of acacia trees, listening to grown ups talking science and mathematics and politics, going to kindergarten, feeling grown up when going to school, discovering a world on a bicycle, seeing people walk by with red or black flags and wondering how cool it must be to carry a flag and shout on the road...
the second time, a much briefer timeframe - 6 months, coming back to a wave of nostalgia, to a world i had spent time discovering, to walking up the stairs of buildings that were constructed almost two decades ago, to getting tired after a few overs' spell, walking among rows of buildings that once used to be the ground on which acacias stood, listening to grown ups talking management, to feeling grown up when doing post graduation, seeing people walk by with red or black flags, and realising how childish i was when i thought it was cool, because by then i had been there and done that...
a few months back, i saw a newspaper headline that the university was shut indefinitely - it seemed most of everyone were on strike, against each other - students, administrative staff and the university registrar had been manhandled by a set of students... the students were on strike for something that should be as far away from academics as possible - politics.. the exams have been cancelled, and if this goes on for even a couple of months, perhaps this year, there wont be a convocation at all in the university...
now the university has silent rows of buildings, and kids waiting for their exams to get over so they can play cricket, cycle around, discover a world, listen to grown ups and think how cool itwould be to carry red and black flags and shout on the street...and yes, the university has always had people with flags, it still has them.. cant blame them, it takes time to understand that flags aint so cool... like most things in life, it is a lesson that cant be taught, it has to be learnt... and that takes time, and a part of life itself...

until next time, dumbstruck....

Monday, July 31, 2006

Prince to star in RGV's film

In a fitting climax to the tale that started on 21st Jul, Prince, the boy who got stuck in a tubewell while playing with friends, and thereby got the nation's audience to get stuck on to the picture tube with timely assistance from various news channels, has been signed on by the famed Bollywood director Ram Gopal Varma.

Prince, who is thrilled about his meteoric rise in popularity after his relatively smaller fall, has already received grants from the state and central governments of Rs. 2 lakh each. In addition, a couple of news channels have also promised him a sum of Rs. 7 lakhs.

In an exclusive interview, Prince has expressed his happiness at being signed on by RGV, " I am extremely thrilled at this opportunity. After the incident, everything in my life is suddenly falling into place. I had immense faith in God and the media, and i always knew that there would be a lightat the end of the tunnel. I cant talk about the film details as Ramuji has asked me not to, but i am undergoing a fitness programme to get back into shape. You see, i was fed a lot of milk, chocolate,biscuits etc during my ordeal, and over two days, i had become a bit too fat. In fact that was what had made the rescue a bit difficult."
When asked if he was concerned about the fact that RGV dropped his actors after hyping them, he had this to say, "He does so only if they dont fall into line with his thinking. But that wont be a problem for me since i have proven my falling skills."
RGV, who makes no bones of his obsession for Mumbai's underworld and its characters, has confirmed the news, and was more forthcoming in an interview. "Yes, its true that i have signed on Prince. I am planning to make a prequel to my film "D", which was a prequel to my earlier film "Company. I will be tracing the making of a criminal from his childhood days. Because of Prince's close brush with the underworld at such a tender age, i feel he is ably suited to play the character. In fact, i have boiled down to a couple names for the film - Three's Company (since this is the third episode), or e (C for company, then D, and so... also i might be releasing it only on the internet. I am already in talks with You Tube for that.). I have also got the rights from the English rockband Dire straits for their song 'Tunnel of Love', 'How Deep is your love' by Take That, 'Falling into You' by Celine Dion and 'Deeper Underground' by Jamiroquai, which will all be used in the film. Talks are also on with Deep Purple and Deep Blue something for more songs. Shooting will start any time now."

News has just arrived that RGV already has signed Prince for the remake, as he expects the original to get panned by the critics.
until next time, Prince, how charming...
Disclaimer: This work is just a product of the author's imagination, except for the money and the Food and beverage bit.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Carry on Doctor

Any of you remember the 'Carry on' series? Old stuff, but used to get repeated on the movie channels, till the 'latest movie on your screen' wars began... Hilarious stuff, made you laugh till your jaw hurt... Only, my jaw started hurting a few days back without me laughing..
now, i usually treat myself pretty well (yes, very funny, i knew that was coming) with the regular stuff available in medical stores, but this one proved a bit too complicated, particularly since i had a lot of (cliche/wisecrack) reasons thrown at me... like
Me: My jaw hurts, at the junction of the ear and the jaw
Friend: Judging by your intelligence, your wisdom tooth is long overdue
Me: Am not sure if its a wisdom tooth or an ear infection
Colleague: yup, all that empty space in between, something's bound to happen..
Another Colleague: Hear hear!!

Yup, i do get plenty of help, and anyways, after trying out simple home remedies like Crocin, Iodex at the joint and an innovative method of rubbing amrutanjan on an earbud and poking it into places where no bud has gone before, i gave up and decided to take some professional help...And the doc was the biggest wisecracker of them all...
Unlike the modern day, cold, "show me the money" kind, this was an older, wiser doc with the most cheerful disposition i have seen from a man still at work at 8 pm on a Friday night...So from asking me whether i had recently encountered any nuts that were tough to crack, and almost making me believe that i should sneeze with my mouth closed, inspite of the risk of my eyes popping out (which he assured me could be done) he kept me entertained ...
And if he had any inkling of the real reason my jaw hurt, this might have been the conversation...
Doctor: you know, its good to learn early in your marriage to treat your wife with care.
Me: Agree Doctor, but why...
Doctor: The junction at the beginning of the jawbone is very sensitive....

until next time, dont drop your jaws...

Monday, July 24, 2006

Item Bomb

Rakhi Sawant created a stir of sorts by announcing that she would be championing the cause of freedom of expression after the recent site banning controversy. When asked whether this was just another publicity stunt, she had this to say,
"Ever since Aamir took up the Narmada cause, i have been looking for issues to raise. It is only now that i have got something meaty enough to hold my attention. It is not my intention to blow anything out of proportion, but some things need to be done to lift the morale of the poor bloggers who have been affected. In any case i dont have any realeases planned soon, so why would i want any cheap publicity? "
When asked how she was qualified to tackle such a relatively geeky issue like blogs, she responded thus,
"It has nothing to do with technology. It is the principle of the whole thing. I have been avictim of the authorities curtailing my freedom of expression, whether its on screen or on stage. And so i feel i am well qualified to do these kind of exposes before the public."
When asked whether she knew common blogger concepts like RSS feeds, she quickly shot back,
"Of course, they are one of the principal reasons why i am supporting the cause. It was the same guys who were feeding the media during my stage show which caused so much of a controversy. They should stick to politics and not do moral policing."
She terminated the interview abruptly when a reporter asked whether she preferred Type Pad,
"This is the problem with media people. You give them some freedom, and they start asking you personal questions. It is none of your business what......"

until next time, only item, no bomb!!
Disclaimer: This work is just a product of the author's imagination.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

The Day the World changed

He experienced the first attack in his own route, in his own regular starting point... he was lucky not to be scarred for life... his mind was in a turmoil, it had never happened to him, he had heard about such things happening in other parts of the world, and to other people, but this was his regular haunt, a place that was almost a second home to him, where he spent time couldnt happen here...
he blinked and looked around to see if he had been dreaming.. a few glances and a couple of questions later, he was sure that it was very real indeed.. but he was still in denial.. he tried calling a couple of people or sending sms.. he partially succeeded and got in touch with guys from other locations as well as guys further ahead on his own travel route.. it was happening everywhere, and everyone was affected...
he didnt quite know what to do.. honestly he wasnt prepared for this kind of stuff, and he wanted answers.. who had done this, more importantly why... he got the answers a while later - LeT, SIMI, and this was only a reaction.. but hell, how in the world was he connected, what had he done to deserve this... he, along with all the others who had been affected, was just going about his life..he didnt know who to blame and how to react... of course, he could join the entire gang and condemn and send mails and demand explanations, but the damage had been done...
but there was something he could do, he promised himself that when it was all over, he would visit every single person he had been acquainted to in his route, and tell them how much he feared for them while all this was happening, and how much he missed reading from cynic and anz and aqua to the monk and joe and everyone in between, i am dropping into share the grief we all went through :)
7/17 shall always be remembered as the day when our worlds collapsed..

until next time, as if writer's blocks werent enough!!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Main shaayar to nahi...

magar jabse maine padha isko, mujhko shaayari thodi si aa gayi!!

and so

agar blog ke ban ne kiya hai aapko pareshaan,
to thoda PK blog karo, sab ho jayega aasaan!!

until next time, eat, drink and blog...

Monday, July 17, 2006

Live and LeT live

And we have finally boiled it down to the usual suspects - SIMI (wonder why MTV is not doing one on her this time) and the Lashkar-e-Toiba (LeT)..Not that its going to help anybody's cause, but it does give a target for finger pointing and 'strongly condemning'..ouch, that would hurt a lot more than being dead or injured in a blast.
I have always been against the American use of muscle power in afghanistan and iraq, because it was behaving like a school bully... but in a weird way, it makes some sense, because there havent been any attacks there since 9/11... for two strikes from the US of A have made it extremely clear that if you mess with them, there will be hell to pay...
Consider this for a moment, if the D company were even remotely involved in the 9/11 strike, and Pakistan was known to have been hiding them, Mush and his country would have been so roughly handled that they would have parted company with D just like that...
Once just once, we should use all those stuff that we keep launching once in while, and parading every year, on our dear neighbour, because it might just stop this annual blast they seem to be having at our expense... then we can do the buses and the samjhauta expresses all over again...
no, its never going to happen, because we have more cheeks from where the first two came from..and we wont even do anything to people inside this country even if we found them responsible,for we are a proudly secular nation, inspite of it having gained us zilch all this while.. and we will suffer and we will live, even at the cost of LeT living...

until next time, peace and pieces...

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Having a Blast

Thats definitely a sadistic approach to the entire thing, but thats unfortunately the way i feel about it... and since i am the only citizen journalist on this blog, i need to be the one to express it this way..
From what i notice, the government and everyone else involved definitely have a machinery and a process in place for this kind of stuff.. exactly 2 minutes after the first incident, there will be a PR person somewhere busily setting the trend and in effect saying 'Let the blames begin'... this will of course be followed by 'eminent' personalities like Javed Akhtar and Shabana Azmi doing a song and dance about it... and then comes, as if on cue, the fitting rejoinders from the people affected... the media, all the while, is having a field day, because finally there is actual news to capture, from theories on who pressed the button to graphic visuals of the dead and injured to preventive action to astrologers who had predicted this... of course, towards the end, you will have tales of heroes... we will salute them and honour them, we will play the blame game and fix on a commonly acceptable target.. and we will do what irritates me most, Mumbai will bask in the glory of a city that can spring back to action irrespective of what happens to it... well, damn it, the reason is because Mumbai has so many people that even a few lakhs lost wouldnt make a dent onthe rest who have not been affected....
and its not just for the blasts, its the same for the floods too.. in fact, the floods are an annual event now, like ganesh chaturthi or something.. i propose that mumbai should celebrate ganesh chaturthi when the flood happens, so they dont have to go the sea for immersion, it could be done in their houses.. so you dont waste time at all.. and someone like a makemytrip should arrange boat cruises, after all does mumbai ever let a moneymaking opportunity go by..
why am i not happy on mumbai springing back? i would be much happier if it was declared a holiday and people were encouraged to help those affected by the tragedy.. that wouldnt be a money making proposition, but it will inculcate what used to be called compassion, and if that were around more, maybe we wouldnt have blasts, and the floods would become a bit more tolerable... no amount of money can bring back the dead, no, compassion cant either, but it definitely can help heal the wound, is the spirit of mumbai such a great thing? of course, because, the spirit is money, and the spirit costs a bomb!!

until next time, it isnt just an alternate train of thought...

Monday, July 10, 2006

World Chup

Yup, fnally, after a month long rollercoaster ride of ecstasy, agony, joy, sorrow, and skimpily attired female fans who gave rise to myriad other emotions that transcended geographical boundaries, the world has awakened to a day after the world cup... its exactly like the day after any mela, when all the crowds and the small shopkeepers have left, and the grounds are empty, not yet ready to start the countdown for the next show...
for a month now, a lot of people across the world have been glued to their television screens, watching the drama unfold.. a lot of people, not all, because there were some like me.. i watched only the england - portugal match just in time to see Rooney being shown a redcard for kicking a ball (actually, two, thats why he got sent off).. and while the world was chanting ZZ, i was going ZZZZ... but yes, most of the world ate,drank slept football..
the newspapers were writing about the social impact also, as old friends who had no interest in football were forsaken, new friendships forged, and loads of other games were played all in one big frenzy thats the FIFA world a sense, its the story of our lives, because if we get down to the nuts and bolts, all of us are living our lives in anticipation of something, it could be as simple as going home in the evening, a good dinner, the release of a music album or film, or an F1 race or as complex as getting a new job, getting married, having a kid..
and when the moment passes, theres a feeling thats quite like the empty grounds.. an eerie silence that says that the free kick is over, and its time to move on... and we move, and wait for the next one, hoping that it will be as good as or better than the last one..

until next time, hope, skip and jump, thats the way forward...

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Bloody Grandfathers

Most of us regularly use profanities in our conversations.. okay, if not on a regular basis, at least occasionally.. yes, technically 'shit' is also a profanity..and the usage is tolerated much more these days, in public places as well as in homes... if not accepted, at least tolerated...
Have always wondered whether the generation above had so many swear words at their disposal, or ever used any of those regularly.. and since its not exactly conversation material, have never managed to find out.. even considering the limited amount they must have had, wonder how many of them actually used it often enough for it to become a habit... which cannot be said of our generation..
and therefore, while our generation hasnt seen many grandparents/parents who swear at their grandchildren, i wonder if it will become an accepted thing when this generation becomes grandparents... ... or is it that in all generations, there is an age for profanity and there is an age for maturity.. perhaps it is one of the infinite lessons of life you will have to learn when your time comes...
until next time, i swear it might be true...

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Going Bananas

Over at Sony TV, they are starting a new serial based on a banana - since it is in Hindi, they are calling it Akela..
It was one of those Mini Super Sundays again, when the World Cup was happening, and there was cricket and there was Formula 1. The interesting point is that in all of these, there are 22 players on the field/track.. it was one of those times, when the viewer experiences a Catch 22 situation, literally..
I loved this on a T Shirt - "Brokeback Mountain - Do the Dude".. Loved it in a purely creative sense...
So, who really is the man of steel now - this guy or this ?
Condoleezza Rice has said that "And I'm gender-neutral, although obviously I like to see women in any position" .. hmm, interesting.. of course she was speaking about the UN secretary general position :)
They call this game Text Twist now, but long long before, almost two decades ago, we used to have it as a competition in inter school fests... a lot of times i used to come out

until next time, yup, its one of those posts ;)

Monday, June 26, 2006


That was a term that became famous in the US and Uk when outsourcing was an issue that was topmost in people's minds... Now its sort of been relegated to some tshirts that float around...
The man who makes our mind sing, the PM himself, was in town a few days back, to discuss some issues pertaining to civic infrastructure.. apparently the normally calm guy got a bit flustered after experiencing the traffic scenario.... so he made a few telling comments on how people should learn to how to handle themselves in traffic and stop being so horny all the time :D...
but its something i notice all around these days in the people of my age group these days, no,not the horny bit, well that also, but more importantly the arrogance and the feeling that the world exists to serve him... i see it in hotels, offices, parking spaces, malls, the blatant disregard for the rest of humanity... its the language of money, of the money thats (also)being earned by the outsourcing of jobs that i started out the post with... the misbehaviourin traffic is just one of the manifestations...
this crowd is the target audience for all the companies thats selling things from credit cards to designer clothes to designer houses to local flavors to low cal flavours and everything in between and all around.. a wonderful economy with people who have the money and people who want to make money... is that so bad? not at all, but while we do the accumulation of currency, is it so difficult to go about in a dignified way? is it one big bag which will either hold money or decency... i somehow dont think so... but then it does take a good soul to be decent even when you dont have to be...
and to come full circle, after the Apple fiasco a few months back, its now the turn of Intel to shut down some of its developmental operations in India... is it time now for Bangalore to be Bangalored?

until next time, whine and bear...