Thursday, October 20, 2005

Art of Live in

Like i commented on Stone's post sometime ago, the makers of Salaam Namaste indeed did some pathbreaking stuff,as they have (apparently) made an entire Bollywood movie about live in relationships..whether or not it is a good movie is not within the scope of this post, but what is within the scope are live in relationships...of course, it goes without saying that the views are personal..
Without marriage there wouldnt be LIR (Live In Relationships, its a long phrase, cant keep typing it always).. the classification happened because of the institution called marriage.. Somewhere down the line, the wise men of the age recognised that society needs to be arranged in some patterns for it to survive, and the immediate higher unit after individual became the family, which (also)involved two individuals living together with the blessings of the law of the land.....
we are now in an age where convenience is the mantra.. from credit cards to communication through handhelds and home deliveries to old age homes, its all about how easy it can be made.. and therefore an LIR fits the bill perfectly, because from sex to apartment rentals, most of everything gets convenient... and i do agree, but with one lil reservation about an antique thing that does not have much relevance today - emotions...
we are perhaps seeing the first generation with an actual choice about relationships- live in or marriage.. i am wondering what a 'no emotional strings attached' relationship now would evolve into/result in, 30 years down the line when love and companionship might make a lot more sense... as with most other things in life, theres no second chance...
until next time, do we pass on live in genes to the next generation??

24 comments:

blister said...

ye gots a point man!

ravi said...

Yeah but is the idea faded or will it wear well with them?

Prerona said...

Manu, ur right. We are drifting away from a lot of things, a way of life, a way of being, that we are leaving intentionally, knowing what we are doing (though there are some who might say even here they know not what they do) but down the line, when these things have been left well behind and theres no going back to them, then who knows who will miss them and how much ...

Prerona said...

Having said that, live in relationships are not something that a now thing, when we moved into our flat, when i was 1 year old, there was a couple living there. Wont tell who it was. I've seen hajaar janta doing it when we were in college in Pune. And when mom was doing her M.S. there was a friend of hers who was living in ... ofcourse she is married now and ofcourse, that was the states. but point i'm trying to make is whatever, whenever, there will be a good number of people who will live outside societies rules and models which makes a safecircle, the central, the average

GratisGab said...

It's a choice. For some it matters, for some it really does not. They don't care...at all. I've seen couples live in perfect harmony for decades without a marriage cert.

NoHairBrain said...

Hmmm.. in some states in the US, if you have been living together for more than 10 years .. you can get the same rights under the law as a spouse .. :)
But as prerona said .. there will always be rebels and thats the only way the society can be dynamic!

phatichar said...

Thought provoking. Yeah, LIR, like the other 'snap-yer-fingers' kinda arrangements of today, seems to be picking up. But like you said, can there be a substitute for love and emotions? Can't say...

Nice post!

Parna said...

its a one to one case. like Gabby said some live in and spend decades with each other. its not necessarily a no-strings-attached thing. true, it does take the pressure off the 'forever' bit, but once you get through the initial teething problems (which even a marriage has) is it any different than a marriage? but then again, it is really a one to one case

manuscrypts said...

blister: :)

ravi: you remind me of a certain guy called jabberwhacky.. :)

manuscrypts said...

prero: the first part, perhaps true, like friends, for example.. u think you ould die without them, and then you drift apart..
the second part, what i am trying to say is, its trying to become anorm rather than the exception..

manuscrypts said...

gabby: possible, yes, and great if it happens that way all the time..

NHB: hmm, yes, my point only being from an emotions standpoint..

manuscrypts said...

phatichar: agree, cant say..

parna: but maybe that 'pressure' isnt a bad thing..

Anjali said...

is living in without emotional strings? or is it the other way round - marriage can often be without emotional strings but many practical, financial, societal ones ... but surely living in has to have emotional strings? i'm not advocating living in over marriage - that's a personal choice - but just wondering whether one is really more of a guarantee of love and companionship than the other - or is it just a guarantee of permanance?

Pixel8 said...

may b the live-in genes would prefer marriage to our ancient thoughts :)

IdeaSmith said...

The live-in relationship may not result in a new generation to pass the gene onto. Having a baby together is a tremendously huge desicion that ties the two people irrevocably....which is what the movie also explores.

Prerona said...

manu, its still as much an exception as it was. i think with the economic structure of india changing more and more people are moving from section A, associated with things and lifestyles A1 to section B, associated with things and lifestyles B2 - u know what I mean? i dont know if i could explain it properly

manuscrypts said...

anjali: great point, i say!! :)

pixie: hey, true.. just like bell bottoms, sideburns, karva chauth and other retro happening things..

manuscrypts said...

ideasmith: hmm, possible, but maybe that will take some more time...

prero: hmm, i think i understand.. but isnt this a much more basic thing as opposed to all the items in list A1 which could change with economics??

blokes said...

marriage- call it by any other name, is commitment!

Parii said...

To each their own, as long as they force it on everyone else too!!

Parii said...

I mean 'don't force it on everyone else too' !!!!

manuscrypts said...

blokes: thats marriage, and live in is not marriage..

aekta: much better..:)

Arunima said...

I won't be a part of that gene passing thingy. excuse me, be it Levis or Live-in

Queer said...

Life goes a full circle....and until then emotions are out of fashion and LIRs are the in-thing.