Monday, August 27, 2007

Ram Gopal Varma ka Onam

(All charcaters in this are a product of the author's imagination and any resemblance to anyone living/dead/missing is a product of the reader's imagination)

You might want to read the original story here or my earlier version .....
Bali ruled his land with a velvet fist, in an iron glove. Though his front was that of a businessman with dairy and bee farms, his money and power came from real estate, and not all of them were totally legal transactions. But he was a fair man, and so the people of the land loved him, inspite of the cruelty of his ancestors. In fact his reign was so good, and the land so prosperous, that they started calling it God's Own Country, where milk and honey flowed on the streets. There were critics who said that Bali was equating himself to God, but then, they were critics.
But a man was watching him closely - a man who ruled the neighbouring area, who went by the name of Devendra Gowda, a stark contrast to Bali, who needed absolutely no front for his devious land scams. Just so that no one interfered too much in his affairs, he was an active politician too. Devendra realised that Bali's lands were pure gold, and started thinking of ways to get it.He didnt want to have a direct confrontation with Bali, his previous experiences had taught him a lesson, so he gave Bali's supari to a common enemy - Vishnu, an encounter specialist.
Vishnu also had an interest in dairy farming, in fact quite a big interest. Legends had it that he had a mansion in the middle of a lake - a lake of milk. Also, Vishnu had had several encounters with Bali's forefathers and was responsible for their deaths, but he knew Bali was a good man and didnt want his reputation to be tarnished. So he disguised himself as a newcomer tapori, and with his trademark umbrella, quickly climbed the ranks.
Bali meanwhile, decided to have a party, complete with item number (Happy Rakhi... of course Rakhi would be happy to do it) to further his grandiose real estate plans. His khaas aadmi, a swamiji, forbade him from calling Vishnu, but Bali would have none of it. He was feeling so good about his plans that he publicly stated that he would give anyone any amount of land they asked for. And Vishnu chose that moment to walk in and demand 3 feet of land. Bali laughed, and agreed. Vishnu's first step was on Bali's chair. Despite counsel from his men, and inspite of penetrating Vishnu's disguise, Bali asked him to take the next two. Vishnu next stepped on the map which had Bali's expansion plans.With a smile, Vishnu told Bali that he had lost all his land, where would he keep his third step? Bali bowed his head, and to add insult to injury, Vishnu stepped on Bali's head.
And that triggered something in Bali. He decided to take a step himself - into the underworld, but with a chilling threat to Vishnu - 'Ek na ek din, main wapas aaunga.' And Bali's men, taking this to heart celebrate this day every year and sing (the remix version of) "Onam ke din dil khil jaate hain......."
Meanwhile, Bali was a hit in the underworld..for the first time, the underworld was organised in to one entity- the B Company.....
until next time, happy onam ;)

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good one. Happy Onam, Cuz. :-)

And I'll see you on Thursday, if rumours are right.

-TCWB.

Layon said...

he he ...too good boss...wish u a very happy Onam!

austere said...

Happy onam.
Fillum mein gana hain?
Storyline thoda dheela karo.

Sreejith said...

hihi... towards the end wasn't the praja singing "na jaa re mere baadshah.. ek vaade ke liye ek vaada tod de" from Khuda Gawah ;))

And very happy Onam to you too!

Stone said...

I'm sure one day someone will make
'RGV ki .......' :-)

***

HAPPY ONAM Buddy !!!

Arunima said...

Happy Onam!

Many of my colleagues are Malayalis. One of them even say he is related to Ram Gopal Verma as they share the same surname;-)

Vote for RAm Gopal Verma Ka Onam!

Adorable Pancreas said...

Awesome!

e said...

Happy Dubai! Happy Oman!

manuscrypts said...

TCWB: the rumours were true

layon: thanks :)

manuscrypts said...

austere: one item number... fast paced action thriller :D

sreejith: see comment above :)

manuscrypts said...

stone: thanks man :)

arunima: ask him whether rgv is also mallu :)

manuscrypts said...

AP: thanks

e: in that order?